Extremely Long, but someone please read? \:

There you were, walking down the hall and nothing ran through my mind, but all of this. That there is
honestly there's nothing more I could say to you than I'm done with you because I deserve to be happy again. Even though some part of me still loves everything about you. I've been so miserable for so long and I've tried to put everything aside and try and make things work out for us and forget about everything, but it only made everything about me worse and I fell apart so many times, I just don't have the strength in me to keep doing this. And I happen to be a strong person, emotionally. 
All you've ever done was hurt me ; I've built my walls high enough for so many months, and all you kept doing was knocking me down.
I used to want to be with you forever. It doesn't feel like you still care about me the same way I did, so why should I care about someone who doesn't care about me at all? If you do, you have a terrible way of showing it. if i was up to me to answer what happened to us to make us like this, I couldn't tell you why. But I've learned so much from all of this. 1. That this has been the worst and best thing that my heart has ever suffered through. 2. Feelings can grow, but they can go away too. if there's one thing I want, it's to be completely fearless because throughout the whole journey with or without you, I've been nothing but judged and critizised. Ironically, I was still happy. Because loving someone despite what people think is fearless. Allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting  go is fearless. Then moving on and being alright, that's fearless too. And I don't want you to think that I hate you because I don't. I could never hate you. I just think that I would have been better off without dating you and being best friends would have saved me so much money on icecream, tissues, tylenol from my headaches. But you were the best boyfriend ever. and I hope whoever the next girl you date is, knows that she is extremely lucky. and I hope she makes you incredibly happy. And gives you all the love you deserve that I couldn't provide for you. I hope she fills your life with all the hoy you filled mine with. Because i know you truly know how to love a girl.
I hope you realize if you ever need anyone, I'm here for you.
and I always will be.
All I ever wanted to say was thank you. So, thank you. For everything. Even though things have changes dramatically between us, and all the pain you put me through,
I'll still be here, even if I don't give a damn about you.