ok soo i like my bestfriends older brother. hes 16 and im 13. not really a big difference but to him he sees me as a "child." i dont understand why tho. im mature emotionally and phyiscally(lmao!) but idk what to do </3 he likes her and her likes him. and im just the "little sisters bestfriend" so i feel like crap. his entire family and mine like to say that hes gunna be my future husband and i laugh and act like it bothers me but honestly inside i love it. but i also know its not true. </3 i often try to impress him but it never works. i'll wear the tight clothes and make sure my hair is perfect every time i see him. however, i dont see that he notices. every now and then ill cry myself to sleep because i realize....ill never ever be with him. people say not to be negative, but i know its true so im not really being negative..iim speaking the truth. right? i know this sounds crazy but i really do feel like im in love. every time he says hi to me it feels like a jolt of electricity went through my entire body about 10 times. i start to forget simple things, my face gets red and my hands get clammy. all because he said hi. sometimes i wonder what if he hugged me? i think i would melt. but i have a feeling i'm not gunna ever know how it feels to be held in his arms, or kissed in the pouring rain by him, or be able to wear his hoodie or letter jacket. or enjoy anything with........him </3

-mine
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