is this how its really going to be were back to this again. us being bestfriends and laughing at the

dramatic girls who hang all over you even though i always think that you might like them back

and it sends a sharp pain to my heart. you are my bestfriend i tell you everything its been like that

for a long time. except for that period of time that you wouldn't talk to me let alone look at me

it was like you just forgot about me, just blanked me out of all your past memorys like i didnt even

matter anymore. do you know how much that hurt considering im pretty much in love with you.

did it even occur to you about how i feel. i straighten my hair every morning i put on make up and

jewelry just to get the tiniest speck of attention from you but thats not the real me and you know it

you remember that time you told me after you broke my heart and before you decided to totally

erase me off the face of earth. do you remember what you told me? you told me--- well you yelled

at me- "will you stop, stop that fake smile stop the fake laughing just stop. im sorry i hurt you and

i feel very guilty because i can tell your faking i know everything about you your favorite color

the name of your favorite stuffed animal when you were 6 everything i can tell when your faking

and dont be fake you can deny it all you want-but your faking." and you just walked away and

havent said a word since. until yesterday you came over with a huge smile and acted like the past

6 months haven't happened. well i cant i remember in homeroom 7:13 on tuesday you decided that

i didn't exsist anymore. and that is the most painful memory i have in my entire life. you were my world

and it all started with me telling you that i loved you because i did i fell in love boy and you told me you

loved me back but you didnt mean it. AT all you didnt mean any of it. none of the hugs. none of the smiles.

none of the "i love you's" nothing . and so your going to come over here and pretend that none of it happened.

it would be so much easier to forgive you.

if i still wasn't in love with you<3




don't not read it because its long and boring. im just venting