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ketchup99

  1. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    June 26, 2012 9:05pm UTC
    Harry Potter brand condoms:
    Protect your Slytherin from Hogwarts while you're in her chamber of secrets.

  2. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    June 26, 2012 8:45pm UTC
    I must have missed school the day
    we learned about Abraham Lincoln being a vampire slayer.

  3. smiletonight smiletonight
    posted a quote
    June 18, 2012 5:13pm UTC
    scientist: the average human spends 18 hours a week on the computer
    me: you mean day
    scientist: what
    me: what

  4. etelo23 etelo23
    posted a quote
    December 9, 2011 11:14am UTC
    S ociety
    is the leading cause of death in
    teenagers.

  5. Meghan* Meghan*
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2011 7:58pm UTC
    I can give really good advice.
    I'm psychic.
    Believe it or not.
    But if you need advice,
    I am right literally all of the time.
    I predicted my brother's birth when I was four.
    I predicted when my mom would get a job,
    I predicted a lot of things.
    So if you need a question on when something will happen,
    Or what will happen,
    I promise you I am not kidding around.
    I am really good at this thing.
    Need help? I'm here.

  6. ColorMyWorld401 ColorMyWorld401
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2011 10:16pm UTC
    Format by XxprettixX
    The awkward moment
    When people think your drunk when in fact your just a blast naturally. ?`d
    ♥♥♥
    (Follow me, i follow back!)emoval of credit is punishable by DEATH.

  7. erikaajaguarr96 erikaajaguarr96
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2011 9:13pm UTC
    Roses are Red,
    violets are blue.
    he's for me,
    not for you.
    by a chance
    you take my place,
    I'll take my fist
    and smash your face.

  8. ColorMyWorld401 ColorMyWorld401
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2011 9:57pm UTC
    It makes me sad that kids these days will not know the fun we had pulling coupons out of the grocery store dispensers.

  9. ColorMyWorld401 ColorMyWorld401
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2011 10:09pm UTC
    I'm so good at sleep. I can
    even do it with my eyes
    closed.

  10. soccerloverx03x soccerloverx03x
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2011 7:05pm UTC
    click to see this quote


  11. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  12. ItWillRain ItWillRain
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2011 9:25pm UTC
    That awkward moment when
    someone says it's an awkward moment and really it's not all that awkward..

  13. xxBMTH4Everxx xxBMTH4Everxx
    posted a quote
    October 12, 2010 8:56pm UTC
    Today in my biology class we were talking about hurricane([ Katrina}.
    My teacher asked this really slutty girl what some of the effects
    of the hurricane were, and she replied, "well everything got all wet and dirty."
    Suddenly the quietest guy in class looks up and goes,
    "Kate, no one asked about your weekend."
    MILA.

  14. Kirstyx33 Kirstyx33
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2010 1:48am UTC
    'I hate my mother'
    long but worth reading.
    My mom only had one eye, I hated her...
    she was such an embarrassment.
    She cooked for students and
    teachers to support the family.
    There was this one day during
    elementary school where my mom
    came to say Hello to me.
    I was so embarrassed. How could
    she do this to me?
    I ignored her, threw her a hateful
    look and ran out.
    The next day at school one of my class mates
    said "EEEE, your mom only has one eye!"
    I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my
    mom to just disappear.
    SO i confronted her that day and said, "If
    you're only gonna make me a laughing stock,
    then why don't you just die?!!!"
    My mom did not respond...
    I didn't even stop to think for a second
    about what i had said, because
    I was full of anger.
    I was oblivious to her feelings,
    I wanted out of that house, and have
    nothing to do with her.
    So i studied real hard, got a chance to go
    to Singapore to study.
    Then. i got married. I bought a house of my
    own. I had kids of my own.
    I was happy with my life, my
    kids and the comfort.
    Then one day, my mother came to visit me.
    She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't
    even meet her grandchildren.
    When she stood by the door, my children
    laughed at her, and i yelled at her
    for coming over uninvited.
    I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my
    house and scare my children!"
    "Get out of here now!!!"
    And to this, my mother quietly answered
    "Oh, im so sorry. I may have gotten the
    wrong address." and she
    disappeared out of sight.
    One day, a letter regarding a school
    reunion came to my house in Singapore.
    So i lied to my wife that i was going on
    a business trip. After that reunion, i went to
    the old shack which was my childhood home
    just out of curiosity.
    My neighbours said that
    she had passed away.
    I did not shed a single tear.
    They handed me a letter that she had
    wanted me two have, it read:
    My dearest son,
    I think of you all of the time, I'm sorry that
    i came to Singapore and scared your children
    I was so glad when I heard you are
    coming for the reunion.
    But i may not even be able to
    get out of bed to see you.
    I'm sorry i was a constant embarrassment
    to you when you were growing up.
    You see... when you were very little you got
    into an accident, and lost your eye.
    As a mother, i couldn't stand watching you
    having to grow up with one eye.
    So i gave you mine.
    I was so proud of my son who was seeing
    a whole new world for me, in my place,
    with that eye.
    With my love to you.
    Your mother ♥
    -newspaper story

  15. singxlovex4 singxlovex4
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2011 5:34pm UTC
    My 21 year old brother
    had prom a few weeks ago.
    My brother has Down Syndrome..
    He had his first kiss that night with another Down Syndrome girl.
    Fav if you think that's adorable♥

  16. lollipopsXD lollipopsXD
    posted a quote
    November 19, 2011 5:29pm UTC
    WHERE THE F*CK IS MY..
    oh. i found it.

  17. lmclean08 lmclean08
    posted a quote
    November 19, 2011 5:25pm UTC
    Today,
    I was taking a shower.
    When I squeezed my body wash bottle,
    it whistled.
    It sounded like when you whistle at an attractive person.
    It was awkward,
    because I was naked.
    n

  18. freya_lirdd freya_lirdd
    posted a quote
    November 19, 2011 5:25pm UTC
    Watch out for prince charming,
    He's a bit of a player.

  19. ellenbhill ellenbhill
    posted a quote
    August 30, 2011 11:07pm UTC
    Honestly,
    i'm glad witty isn't really popular.
    It wouldn't be as fun. we would have WAY too many pointless quotes and people

    not my format

  20. Andreaxoxo Andreaxoxo
    posted a quote
    August 30, 2011 6:30pm UTC
    I hate when people wear my glasses and say,
    "Wow you really are blind"
    Well no kidding.
    You dont see me taking a persons wheelchair and saying,
    "Wow, you really cant walk"

:)

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