Things would be so much easier if I could just shut off what I feel for you. I want to be able to say "I don't like you that way." and actually mean it. I want for us both to be able to do our own thing and for it to not bother me. To not be bothered where you are, who you're with, what you're thinking. I want to be able to let go and feel like I"m not missing a part of me. But most of all, I just want you to want what I want. And I don't see that happening.