Jlb.
You'll always know who you are. These are things I could never say to you.
Confession #29.
That made me so sick to my stomach, and brought back so much.
I used to think the world of you. You had big things going. You had great morals. Amazing goals.
A clear mind. You were somewhat hard to figure out, but somehow I got close to you and I tried my hardest to be there for you any time you needed me; in fact, I clearly remember dropping everything every time.
You've changed so much.. So, so so much.. &I wish you didn't. You used to trust very few people (you still do, they just aren't the same ones.) Everything was so clear for you, and you were such a bright child. You had the smile of an angel, and everything any girl could ever ask for.
But somewhere along the lines, you lost yourself. I always wonder if that's my fault.. &I'm sorry, for all the stupid fights we had, and late night talks that ended so badly. You started smoking weed. You started cigarettes. You messed with other people. You were looking for "something real" in all the wrong places. Sometimes it frustrates me, because I know what we had, and I believed every word you ever said to me. But it's okay, simply because it has to be. I wish I could be your best friend again. I'd always be here for you. To be honest, I'd stilll pick up the phone if you happened to call for anything. I hate the way you treated me near the end, but I've always intended on keeping my promises. Even if you've broken all of yours. [{I just want to point out confession #15}]
You always meant the world to me. &I knew from the moment we met that my life would never be the same. &It hasn't. You and I both know that. Sometimes I miss you. But then I remember everything you've said and done, and how it's best that we are the way we are. It hurts like hell sometimes, but I push it away.
So much is on my mind about you, but I don't know how to say it. For the past while, I haven't known what to say to you at all. Either it doesn't matter, or I don't care enough to let you know.
If you ever see this, know that I care for you, and that I'll always be here if you need anyone to rant to or cry to. Even if you just need a civilized conversation. I can't promise you I'll have a bajillion tons of energy. But if it's a real talk you need, a real talk you'll get.
You were the closest thing to perfect I've ever found in my life. You know, before things changed. You really were my best friend. &I lost you.
You'll find happiness, though. I know you will. Some habits need to be dropped, but.. You have this thing about you, you'll always go far.
What's in the past may always stay there, but the foundations never change.
-BabyGiraffeSauce.
Breannnnnanichole