never finalize negative feelings.
they will make a bed in your head, feed you lies each day, and take you away from what great part of your life that could have been.
as I look back on the negative posts I made years ago, I can assure you that I only feel penitence and pity for the girl who wrote them. I wish I hadn't made posts like that, because it had me believing for the longest time that it was all true - and that only validated more negativity in my life. it became a disease that corrupted my thoughts. I was diving head first into shallow end of murky waters.
those feelings don't exist anymore. I had, with so much effort and many, many crazy months of self help, positivity, constant goal digging, human interaction, and hard work, gotten over it. it definitely wasn't easy and I continue to work on it, but believe me, I have gotten over the worst and I've gotten so much better now.
after all this time, it leaves me to wonder what I'd have had and where I'd have been if only I'd been positive instead. but this doesn't necessarily mean I'm regretting. I have learned a lot. but you can't help but wonder if the possibilities weren't ever empty.
If any one of you are in the state that I was in - my advice is not to worry, not to finalize the bad; see the good, you are a strong person. strong doesn't mean it can't break you, it means you are already broken, except that you can be fixed.
you can recover.
cujo*
keshamonster3