When your mother hits you,
do not strike back.
When the boys call asking your cup. size, say A, hang up.
When he says you give him blue ba.lls, say you’re welcome.
When a girl with thick black curls who smells like bubble gum stops you in a stairwell to ask if you’re a boy, explain that you keep your hair short so she won’t have anything to grab when you head-bu.tt her. Then head-bu.tt her.
When a guidance counselor teases you for handed-down jeans, do not turn red.
When you have s.ex for the second time and there is no co.n.dom, do not convince yourself that scr.e.wing between layers of underwear will soak up the se.men.
When your geometry teacher posts a banner reading: “Learn math or go home and learn how to be a Momma,” do not take your first feminist stand by leaving the classroom. When the boy you have a crush on is sent to detention, go home.
When your mother hits you, do not strike back.
When the boy with the blue mohawk swal.lows your heart and opens his wri.sts, hide the knives, bleach the bathtub, pour out the vod.ka. Every time.
When the skinhead girls jump you in the bathroom stall, swing, curse, kick, do not turn red.
When a boy you think you love delivers the first black eye, use a screw driver, a be.er bottle, your two good hands.
When your father locks the door, break the window.
When a college professor writes you poetry and whispers about your tight little as.s, do not take it as a compliment, do not wait, call the Dean, call his wife.
When a boy with good manners and a thirst for Bu.dwei.ser proposes, say no.
When your mother hits you, do not strike back.
When the boys tell you how good you smell, do not doubt them, do not turn red.
When your brother tells you he is gay, pretend you already know.
When the girl on the subway curses you because your tee shirt reads: “I f.ucked your boyfriend,” assure her that it is not true.
When your dog pees the rug, kiss her, apologize for being late.
When he refuses to stay the night because you lived in Jersey City, do not move.
When he refuses to stay the night because you live in Harlem, do not move.
When he refuses to stay the night because your air conditioner is broken, leave him. When he refuses to keep a toothbrush at your apartment, leave him.
When you find the toothbrush you keep at his apartment hidden in the closet, leave him.
Do not regret this. Do not turn red.
When your mother hits you,
do not strike back. “
— Jeanann Verlee, Unsolicited Advice to Adolescent Girls With Crooked Teeth and Pink Hair
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