Ifyoucouldseemenow Quotes

lifeswonderland
posted a quote
September 3, 2013 1:41pm UTC

If you could see me now would you recognise me? Would you pat me on the back or would you criticise me?
- The script <3<3<3

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beautifulsmiles
posted a quote
August 9, 2013 6:01pm UTC

Take that rage, put it on a page
Take the page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place

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doublesidedice
posted a quote
June 9, 2013 10:27pm UTC

Take that rage.
Put it on a page.
Take the page to the stage.
Blow the roof off the place.

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Ireland201
posted a quote
June 1, 2013 9:25am UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 14
"I told you not to come," I said as he sat down beside me.
"You should be grateful," he told me. "What's the matter?"
I sighed. "My Dad wrote to me."
He took a moment to understand why that was bad, but then he realised what was wrong with that. "Oh."
"Yeah."
"So, are you going to write back?" he asked.
"Definitely not," I said. "He killed people. I don't want anything to do with him."
"I guess I see where you're coming from," he admitted. "Write back and tell him that."
"He told me to write back if I read the letter," I said slowly.
"Tell him you did," he told me.
"No, I can't." I teared up.
"Put yourself in his shoes," he said.
"No thanks."
"Okay, well imagine you did that and Tara watched. Then imagine she never wanted anything to do with you even though you loved her very much. Just imagine it."
I did, and pulled a face.
"Isn't so nice, is it?" he said.
"No, but that's different. This is my reality, Conor, and I don't think you understand it," I said, standing up off the sofa.
"How would I?" he snapped. "You didn't do a great job explaining it and I'm afraid to ask because you always break down whenever I do." His voice was getting louder. "It's part of your past, Jodie. You can't change the past! You need to embrace it, it's made you stronger."
"Has it?" I hissed. "I can't go a day without breaking down. Do you think I ask for that? Do you think I asked for any of this? Why would I do that? Huh? I hate every day in my life because Evan isn't here. He was the only good think my life had in years and now he's gone and so is Tara."
"What about me?"
I hesitated.
"Well?" he pushed.
"What about you?" I asked.
"Aren't I something good that has happened to you?"
"Don't be so egotistical. You're just a replacement for Evan!" I yelled. I regretted the words as soon as I said them. The hurt in Conor's eyes was there, in large amounts. His face went red and I thought he was about to cry.
"I gave up Scarlet for you. She was my everything, I loved her more than anyone else. I'll never get her back now, will I? I gave you a job, I saved your life, and I've been there for you. Nice to know that that's how you thank me," he said, his voice low.
"Wait, I didn't mean it. You don't under-"
"I know, I don't understand. I get it," he snapped, glaring at me. He got up and left.
As soon as I heard his car start and drive off, I burst into tears. I picked up a glass vase from the bookshelf in the sitting room and threw it on the ground. It smashed into little pieces. I picked up one of the pieces and dragged it across my arm. Blood oozed from the cut. I winced in pain.
I kept thinking that if Tara and Evan, or Mum, or even Dad could see me now, they wouldn't be proud. Conor wouldn't be proud either. I dropped the piece of glass in my hand and went to the kitchen. I wrapped up the cut in a bandage. I was light-headed.
"This time next year, you're all going to look down on me and be proud," I promised, looking upwards.
Author's Note:
It's been over two weeks since I last updated I am so sorry!!! I broke my wrist and was finding it hard to type and I have exams so I didn't have time. Forgive me.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
May 18, 2013 6:58am UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 13
The muscles in my legs were stiff from the crouched position I had been lying in. I was sure the family next door had heard me screaming. The entire town must have heard. Nobody knocked on my door to complain though, which I was grateful for. I wouldn't have been able to explain it to them very well.
It seemed impossible that he found me. For God's sake I had changed my name! How was it possible?
He hadn't said how he had found me, and I didn't plan on asking. I didn't plan on replying at all.
I wondered had I over-reacted.
*Flashback*
I picked the letters up from the rug under the post box in my front door. I stared at the one on top for a few seconds trying to see what it was. My name was hand-written in a clumsy scrawl on the envelope, so it wasn't a bill or anything fancy.
I opened it.
Jodie, I miss you so much. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you. I know you probably think about me for all the wrong reasons, but I do love you. You must be all grown up by now. I miss you. You never visit. You should. Please? I'd love to talk to you, I haven't in so long. If I ever get out of here When I get out of here I'll make it up to you. Or, I'll try at least - I won't be able to make it up to you, will I? Please tell me if you read this. Write me a letter telling me you read it. It doesn't have to say anything else. If I know that you read it it's enough for me. Merry Christmas. Love, Dad.
I was shaking by the time I was finished. "Love, Dad," I repeated. "Dad." I dropped the letter and put my hand out, reaching for something - anything! I was going to fall over if I didn't. I was terrified. How had he known where I lived? My name? What made him think I wanted to visit? Or write back?
I was shaking and crying at the same time. Nothing ever stayed perfect for me. It was too much to ask for a little bit of happiness in my life.
The doorbell rang and I screamed at the top of my voice - long and high pitched. I shook violently as I went to open the door. A boy I didn't know stood there, seeming fairly frightened himself -- I must have scared him when I screamed.
He opened his mouth to speak, but I couldn't speak to him. I shook my head and closed the door in his face, dropping to my knees. I screamed and screamed, and then cried.
*End of Flashback*
I needed Conor. He'd help me. He'd know what to do. I couldn't really call him over just because I got a letter, could I? It seemed a bit dramatic. And a bit needy.
No, he didn't need to suffer with me. I would stay home for a few days and get all my screams and tears out of my system so that he wouldn't see me like this.
It seemed funny that I had been afraid Conor would break me, when it now seemed that I needed him.
I stayed seated on the sofa and prepared for the long hours ahead, that I would spend being sad and feelig sorry for myself.
Conor's POV
"Why don't you invite Jodie around? We still have some food left over from Christmas," Hazel said.
"Okay, I'll ring her." I took out my phone and dialed the number. It took a while before she answered.
She sniffed. "Hello?"
"Hey, Jodie. Do you want to come over today?" I asked.
"No!"
"What?"
"Oh, er, I mean, I can't. Not today. Sorry," she stammered, tripping over her own words.
"Why not?" I asked, frowning.
"Just can't. I'm not well," she said quickly.
"Oh, well, do you want me to come over? I can help you if you like," I offered.
"No, I'm fine."
"But you said you were sick."
"Yes, I am. Don't you set foot anywhere near my house! Understand?" she said - well, more like shouted.
"Sure," I muttered, a little stunned. She hung up, and I considered what to do for a moment.
Going to her house is my only option, I thought, smiling to myself.
Author's Note:
Oh yeah, don't worry about little old me, I've only lost like HALF OF MY FOLLOWERS!!
I'm sorry I don't update very regularly, it's hard to do because I have exams and stuff.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
May 17, 2013 11:51am UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 12
part two
"I should go home," I said, looking at the clock. It was half past nine. I had spent all day at the Tailor's house, joking around with Eoin, Conor and Annie. I even managed to get a smile out of Darren, something I hadn't seen him do much before. Joe laughed too, though I could tell he didn't really find a lot of it funny.
"I'll drive you," Conor said, standing up off the sofa. I stood up too and we left.
Driving home, I felt at ease. It was amazing how comfortable I felt around Conor Tailor. Hmm. Jodie Tailor...
"What did you just say?" Conor asked, sounding a little shocked.
"Huh? Crap, did I say that out loud?" I said, feeling the heat rush to my cheeks.
"Um, yeah," Conor said slowly.
There was a long pause.
"The name suits you, it goes together well. Not like Jodie Grace. I think Jodie Tailor works better," he said suddenly.
"Grace was my mother's last name. I changed it when I was sixteen, so that I wouldn't have the same name as my father and he wouldn't be able to contact me," I said, surprising myself with the words. "My name was Jodie Stride."
There was another long pause.
"There's a lot I didn't know about you. I was wrong about a lot of things," he said.
For some reason, I only remembered then that he might expect to be invited into my house. I cringed.
He laughed. "You need to stop saying things out loud. I won't come in, if you don't want."
I blushed again. "Thanks Conor."
"That's fine. Which way do I go now?"
"Turn left up ahead, and mine's the third house on the right hand side," I told him. "The messy, abandoned looking one."
We pulled up outside of my house moments later. The street lamp was shining on Conor's face, making his eyes glisten. I had the desire to kiss his face. I clenched my jaw in frustration.
"You're very beautiful, you know that, right?" he said.
"That's a lie and you know it." I grinned.
"I wish you'd believe me, or that you could see yourself through my eyes, or anyone elses for that matter. Everyone thinks you're beautiful. My mother wishes she looked like you when she was younger, my sister curses your eyes and hair, and have you seen the way all three of my brothers look at you?"
"No, I haven't. Why? How do they look at me?" I asked, frowning at him.
"Like a blind man seeing the sunset for the first time," he said.
I scoffed. "Don't be so dramatic. Nobody looks at anyone like that!"
"You'll believe me one day. Hey, that's what the teddy can stand for on your bracelet," he told me, grinning.
"Sure, whatever you want," I said sarcastically, unfastening my seatbelt and getting out of his car. "See you."
"Bye," he said, just a fraction of a second before I shut the door.
When I went into my house and sat down on my sofa, I realised that I might not believe what Conor told me, but it did matter to me. It mattered because when I was giving people compliments I always wished for one back, but when I got them it didn't matter so much. What Conor said, mattered to me a great deal. And that was scary, because I was giving him the power to break me.
Author's Note:
Oh yeah, don't worry about little old me, I've only lost like HALF OF MY FOLLOWERS!!
This chapter is in two parts because it was too long and Witty wouldn't let me add it.
I'm sorry I don't update very regularly, it's hard to do because I have exams and stuff.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
May 16, 2013 3:00pm UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 12
part one
"Merry Christmas," Hazel said, handing me the small box wrapped in silver paper.
"Oh, you shouldn't have. I didn't get any of you anything," I said.
"Never mind that. Open it."
Conor sat down on the sofa beside me. "Who's it from?" I asked, smiling at him.
"All of us, but I picked it out," Conor told me.
I groaned. "I thought there would be no presents. I didn't get anybody anything."
"We don't mind, we have plenty. You didn't get anything," he said sternly.
I peeled the paper off the small present, revealing a maroon box with a golden pattern around the side. Even the box was the prettiest thing I had held in months. I opened it, revealing a bracelet with different charms on it inside.
"Do you like it?" Conor asked.
Everyone had left us alone, creating their own conversations in the room. "I love it. What do all the charms mean?"
"Well, the horse shoe is the horse riding lesson you are yet to have," he told me, grinning. "The book is a story, your story, and it's not over yet. The circle shape is a halo, because you have lots of angels looking out for you up in Heaven who would be upset for you to leave this world just yet. The little diploma means that you're going to college if it kills me, and the teddy is just a teddy. I don't know, girls like teddy's, right?"
"Yes, we do," I said, smiling up at him. "And this is the most beautiful present I have ever gotten. Thank you so much. Did those meanings come with the charms or did you make them up?"
"I saw them in the shop and thought of a meaning for them and added them to the bracelet. I can be pretty deep when I want to be," he told me, a smug smile on his face.
"Thank you. I don't deserve it," I said, and it even sounded to me like I was apoligizing.
"Stop feeling bad about being happy. Everyone wants you to be happy." He sounded almost annoyed.
I frowned, trying to think of a way I could explain it to him right. My life had been perfect, then it had been a nightmare, then it had been perfect again, then another nightmare, and now it was just okay. I'd sound mental if I explained to him that sometimes I heard Evan clearer than I could picture him, or that out of nowhere I'd hear Tara's life - the innocent laugh of a baby - that I was haunted by the terrifying night with my father, and that my mother's death was my fault. He wouldn't understand, and I would never be able to explain it right.
"Jodie?" Eoin called, snapping me out of my daydream. "How much turkey do you want?"
I smiled. "Not much, thank you." Spending time with this family of nice people must have made me a nicer person. Sometimes I was a bit shocked when I complimented someone, or if someone annoyed me and I said something nice in return. Had I been like this when I was younger? I didn't remember being an unpleasant child, and the first person I ever remembered telling me I wasn't nice was a friend of Evan's when I was fifteen.
I sat down between Conor and Annie while we ate. Annie babbled about her new iPod, and how she knew what music she was going to download, and how her friend told her she knew how to get free music. I laughed at how clueless I was about electronics and the internet.
"My God! You're useless! Do you even have a Facebook?" Annie scoffed.
"No, should I have one?" I asked slowly.
"Yes! What kind of human are you?" she snapped.
"A very rare kind," I told her, and she smiled, obviously agreeing with me.
Author's Note:
This chater is in two parts because it was too long and Witty wouldn't let me add it.
I'm sorry I don't update very regularly, it's hard to do because I have exams and stuff.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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doublesidedice
posted a quote
May 8, 2013 5:31pm UTC

Tattooed on my arm
Is a charm
To disarm
All the harm.
Gotta keep myself calm,
But the truth is you're gone.
-If You Could See Me Now: The Script

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Ireland201
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 5:59am UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 9
The look on Conor's face was priceless.
"What time is she coming over at?" he asked, his eyes wide.
I looked up at the clock. "I don't know. Ten more minutes?"
"Oh," was all he could manage.
"Anyway, Eoin, what were you saying?" I asked, smiling at him.
He smiled back, pleased to be centre of attention again, and continued on with his story. Conor sat quietly, staring down at his food.
"If Scarlet's coming then maybe we should wait until she gets here before we eat," Hazel said. She was so kind, always thinking of other people, while I was here tormenting and lying to her son.
Scarlet hadn't called. I had invited her around. She was reluctant to come, and when I asked why, she said Conor wanted to talk to her and it didn't sound good. I told her that was nonsense, and when she said she thought she liked someone else, I told her that I had liked him but he had never liked me, and as soon as I found out he had a girlfriend I told him I was sorry.
"When did you find out that?" she had asked.
"The second day I worked here," I lied.
I convinced her that all he wanted to talk about was how he was sorry if there was any confusion. She had agreed to come.
We did wait. Scarlet arrived exactly ten minutes later.
Hazel greeted her at the door, took her coat and hung it up, and then told her to sit down next to Conor. She smiled nervously at him and then at me.
"Oh, you must be Jodie," she said, frowning slightly.
Scarlet was even prettier than I had imagined. She had wavy red hair and golden eyes. She was tall and pale, and had the kind of figure that all the other girls envied. Her smile was beautiful, and I honestly couldn't find fault with the girl.
I bet she's nice too, I thought bitterly. I was right though.
"Yeah, that's me."
Conor was looking at me with a pained expression on his face. Clearly, I hadn't reacted the way he had hoped for.
Scarlet stretched her hand across the table for me to shake. I glanced at Conor, who was smiling crookedly at me. I shook her hand.
Scarlet and I talked and talked while eating our lunch. She was too nice, really. I wasn't sure if she actually liked me or if she just liked everyone or if she hated me and was good at hiding it. She seemed to think I was hilarious though, so I was sure she liked me - as impossible as it is for people to like me.
"Scarlet," Conor interrupted me mid-sentence. "I need to talk to you. Alone." He glared at me as he stood up, and I stared back with a blank expression.
I turned back to Eoin then. "So, what kind of music do you like?"
Eoin was too nice also. I had been ignoring him since Scarlet arrived, but he still spoke to me when I needed him. He was so adorable. I'd keep him all to myself if he wasn't too good for me.
And if I could get my mind off Evan.
Since the whole thing with Conor, my mind had kept drifting back to Evan every chance it got.
Scarlet and Conor left the room, Conor slamming the door with a loud bang.
After Eoin had explained - in great detail - all of his favourite bands and singers, he asked me a question I hadn't been prepared to answer. "Who was your first boyfriend?"
I hesitated. "My first proper boyfriend was Evan, I guess."
"When did you meet him?"
"When I was fifteen," I answered, trying not to remember.
"When did you break up?"
"We didn't," I mumbled.
"I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend," he said in confusion.
"I really don't want to talk about it," I told him, smiling slightly.
Conor and Scarlet came back in then.
"Just tell me why," Scarlet begged.
"You want to know why?" he snapped, pointing at me. "She's the reason!"
"What did I do?" I asked calmly.
"Yeah, I'm confused," Scarlet said. "Jodie said that when you told her you had a girlfriend and weren't interested that she backed off."
"I never told her that!" Conor shouted, throwing his hands up. "She's messing with my head. Look, Scarlet, I do like you, but I need time to think. I'm confused."
"Oh, you think I'm just going to wait around incase you like me more than her? Well, if you figure it out, don't even bother coming to tell me!" she said, turning on her heels and walking out the door.
Conor looked back at me.
"Should have kept her," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Because you ain't getting me."
Author's Note:
Jodie's such a b..tch.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 4:43pm UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 8
I had one day left of work before I was on Christmas holidays. Praying I could keep it together for Conor's talk with me, I knocked on the front door of the Tailor's house.
Eoin answered. "Hey Jodie," he muttered. "Conor's out in the sheds with Teddy. I guess you'll want to go help him."
My stomach twisted. "Nah. I'm getting sick of Conor. Can't I stay with you today?"
His face lightened. "Well, if you want. I don't mean to be rude, but why do you want to stay with me? You never did before."
"Of course I did. But Conor's so clingy! I don't know why he thinks I want to be friends. I mean, he told me about his girlfriend - Sarah, is it?" I asked.
"Scarlet," Eoin corrected me.
"Right. Scarlet. Anyway, he never shuts up about her! He must be really clingy with her. I'm only his friend and he practically stalked me! Imagine being his girlfriend," I said, smiling and rolling my eyes. "He's a nice guy though."
"Right. Nice," he sounded unsure.
"I think Scarlet would be pi...sed if I kept hanging around with him anyway. You know, jealous girlfriend and all that," I added.
"You're so mean somtimes," Eoin said, laughing. "Come on, we can help with the Christmas tree."
He took my hand and brought me into the sitting room, where we set up the tree. I had to admit, I was surprised at how easily I had lied.
Conor's POV
I went into the kitchen, disappointed that Jodie hadn't showed up. I had a big speech about how I had a girlfriend, but liked Jodie more, and I would break up with Scarlet. Why wouldn't she show up?
"Oh, I was just about to call you in," Hazel said when I walked in. "Call in Eoin and Jodie, will you?"
"Jodie?" I asked. "She's here?"
"Yes. She's been here all day. They're in the sitting room. Tell them lunch is ready."
"Oh." That was strange. I went into the sitting room, and found Eoin and Jodie decorating the Christmas tree. They were laughing and teasing each other. They looked like a couple. Neither of them noticed when I walked in.
I cleared my throat. Jodie looked up at me and, still smiling, walked over to me.
"I haven't seen you all day," she said, in an over friendly tone - not at all like her. Since when was she nice to people? Especially me?
"Ha. Yeah. Lunch's ready," I said awkwardly.
"Okay. Come on, Eoin!" She went into the kitchen and I stared after her, my eyes wide. When Eoin walked past I looked him in the eye.
"What did you do to her?" I asked.
He grinned. "Nothing. She wanted to stay with me, and I wasn't going to ask why. She's been really nice. And she doesn't like you, apparently."
"What? Why not?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "She said you're clingy, and that she would hate to be Scarlet because th-"
"Scarlet? Who told her about Scarlet?" I snapped.
"You did," he said slowly.
"Come on! Lunch is ready!" Jodie called from the kitchen. Eoin shrugged and walked off and I followed him, trying to process some of what was happening.
I sat down opposite to Jodie. She smiled at me and then continued her conversation with Eoin.
"Oh, Conor?" Jodie said, cutting Eoin off mid-sentence. "Scarlet rang earlier. She said she was coming around today. Forgot to tell you."
Author's Note:
I'm aware of this chapters awfulness, thank you very much.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
May 1, 2013 3:02pm UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 7
I overheard the reason why Eoin was angry while looking for my gloves in my car the next day. Eoin and Joseph were walking from the back door to where I was.
"Conor can be such an as..ole sometimes," Eoin said.
"Does he even like Jodie?" Joseph asked.
"He said he does, but then I asked about Scarlet and he said he didn't know what to think," Eoin said. I could almost picture him rolling his eyes.
"He might just be doing it to annoy you," Joseph pointed out.
"Joe, he's not like that," Eoin said, not sounding so sure himself.
I climbed silently out of my car and stood still behind it, barely breathing. I had to listen to this.
"Why else would he do it? He has Scarlet," Joe said.
"I don't know. Maybe. But he's still my brother. I didn't think he would do that. He knows I like Jodie."
I had to refrain from gasping.
The came around the corner then, and spotted me. "Sh..t," Eoin muttered.
"H-hi, er, I-I was just going now," I stammered, blushing.
"What are you doing?" Joe asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Oh, nothing. I, er, dropped my keys. Yeah, they went under the car. I-I was just getting them," I said quickly.
"Jodie, they're in your hand." Joe spoke to me as if I were mentally disabled.
"Yeah, because I picked them up you idiot," I snapped.
"Sure you did." I glared at him.
"Did you hear what we were talking about?" Eoin asked quickly.
"Nope," I lied. "Just got here."
"Oh, right," Eoin sounded relieved.
"Do you know where Conor is?" I asked.
"He's not here," Joe said. "Went out with a...friend of his, Scarlet."
I felt a lump in my throat. "Okay," I croaked. "I should go."
"What's the hurry? Do your parents want you to help with the Christmas decorations?" Eoin asked. "We can help too if you'd like. We've never met your parents."
Another lump in my throat. "I just have to go."
They didn't say anything else, and I just drove off. I had to pull over when I could barely see through the tears. Why was I crying? Over Conor! I hated him! It was just a stupid kiss.
But it wasn't just a stupid kiss. It was something I had only experienced once before. With Evan. When we first kissed. More tears.
I eventually calmed down and continued my drive home. When I got to town, where I lived, I saw a little cafe that I went to with Marci once.
Marci. How long had it been? I used to call her my best friend. It had been almost a year.
How had I thought everything was falling into place? I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't lucky enough for a break in life.
I went home and sat down, realizing how lonely I was. I really had nothing. My house was empty basically, and nobody even cared enough to ask if I was okay!
My old phone that looked like it was about twenty years old vibrated.
Can we talk? I think we should be just friends. Hear me out, I have a lot to say:)x - Conor
I made a promise to myself then. If Conor didn't care about me - he clearly cared more about Scarlet, whoever she was - then I shouldn't care about him either. He wouldn't see me cry, or think I was upset by anything he said to me. I would continue working with him, and I would be friendly and pleasant.
And I would not kill myself because of him.
Author's Note:
I love how I lost nearly half of my readers in three chapters </3 Did you all get sick and die?
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 5:15pm UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 6
In the days that passed, the hole in my heart began to heal. No, not heal. I said before that someone will collapse unless they had someone to help them through the pain. Conor was helping me. I was stronger because of him.
It took Conor and I nearly a week to look each other in the eye after our near-kiss. Eoin distracted me, and I didn't complain. I would do anything to get my mind off of Conor.
He was the main topic in my mind. When I wasn't with him, I was thinking about him. I caught myself blushing whenever we made eye contact at the lunch his mother prepared for us every day. How pathetic. How unfaithful to Evan.
After five days of us avoiding each other, Conor came up to me out at the sheds. Eoin had gone into the house to get us hot-chocolate and we were left alone.
"Look, I'm really sorry about the other day. I don't know why I did that," he said, apoligetically.
"It's fine," I muttered.
"So, are we friends again?"
"We never were friends," I said, grinning at him.
"You're so horrible." He laughed and pushed me gently. I took a step backwards, tripping over Teddy's bucket of food. Conor caught my arm just before I fell and pulled me up. "Steady," he said, his body pressed against mine.
I stared back up at him, struck dumb. What was I meant to do? Did I want to kiss Conor? I hoped I didn't. But maybe things would be easier, the pain easier to cope with, if I had him.
I had no time to make my decision. His face was leaning in towards mine, and I was leaning in towards him.
Every bit on conscience I had was screaming that this was wrong, that I was betraying Evan. What could I do?
He pressed his lips gently to mine, and I didn't pull away. The ring on my finger felt twice as heavy as soon as our lips met. He glided his tongue along my lip and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Suddenly, there was a smash. We pulled away and looked in the direction of the sound.
Eoin was standing ten metres away, at the entrance to the shed, three smashed mugs of hot-chocolate on the ground, his jaw hanging open.
"Er, Eoin-"
Conor was interrupted by Eoin turning and walking away. "Dammit," Conor muttered. "Eoin! Wait!" He ran after Eoin and I stood there, frozen.
What just happened? I thought.
Christmas was less than two weeks away. I had been brief when asked what I was doing for Christman. "This and that. It's different every year," I had said. When asked where I was going, I had said "Here, there and everywhere."
There was a strange tension between Eoin and Conor after Eoin walked in on us kissing.
"What's wrong with Eoin?" I asked as we fed the hens.
"Long story," Conor said, smiling at me. "So, you think we're friends now?"
I pretended to consider it. "I don't know..."
"Aw, come on!"
"Well, what kind of friends kiss, Conor?" I snapped, a biiter edge to my voice that I hadn't intended on being there.
"Oh, you remember that."
"Why would I forget?"
"I was hoping you would, even though I certainly haven't," he said, grinning. I loved his smile.
"Why's that?"
"That's why Eoin's mad, because we kissed," he sighed. "But I don't regret it," he added on in a happier tone.
I had butterflies in my tummy. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. I forgot about Evan and Tara for that moment.
All that mattered was Conor Tailor.
Author's Note:
Conor's name sounds familiar to me... is that some celebrity or something?:/
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 7:19am UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 5
Conor's POV
"Evan wanted a horse," she whispered, stroking Teddy's neck.
"Who?"
"A friend of mine," she hummed, smiling slightly.
I never forgot that name, or the way she smiled when she said it. It was as if it were some inside joke that I wasn't part of. Or as if there were good and bad memories associated with that name. Her eyes lit up, but there was something more behind them. Something I didn't understand.
"So, would you like lessons?" I asked, snapping her out of her daze.
She bit her lip. "I don't know... You're lucky I'm standing this close to a horse, you want me to get on one?"
"Go on. For the bant," I said, grinning.
"Oh, sure. If I fall off and break my neck, you can tell the doctor "Oh, it was just for the bant,"" she said sarcastically. "What does that even mean?"
"For the fun of it. Do it just so you can say you did. That kind of thing," I explained. "Live on the edge."
She rolled her eyes. "Not today."
"Can we live on the edge tomorrow?" I asked, smiling still.
"No. Not for a while."
It had started to rain and it was getting heavier and heavier. It pounded off the roof of the shed. I could barely hear Jodie speaking.
"So, will I get to meet this Evan?" I asked.
"Maybe someday. If you keep annoying me it will be sooner than you would hope," she said, the same menacing smile on her face. I still didn't understand what was behind the happiness in her eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
She shook her head and grinned, although it didn't reach her eyes. "It's a secret."
"I'm a good secret keeper," I told her.
"I don't care."
There was a silence then, as I debated whether or not to say the next thing.
"Are you okay?" she asked, obviouslt seeing my internal debate.
"Um, yeah. I was just wondering if...well...is Evan, like, your...boyfriend?" I asked, feeling idiotic.
There was a fraction of a second of silence and then her face crumpled in what could only have been agony. She sank down to the ground, burying her face in her hands. I could clearly hear her crying, even over the pouring rain and the slight thunder that had started. I stood frozen, not knowing what to do.
She sighed, wiping away tears, looking up at me. "No, Conor, he's not."
"Oh," was all I could manage.
"He was, but not anymore," she muttered.
I knelt down beside her. She looked down at her hands, at a ring on her finger that I hadn't noticed she was wearing.
"Did you break up?" I asked, trying to sound sympathetic.
She hesitated. "I guess you could call it that."
For some reason, I knew she wasn't telling me half of the story. But I wouldn't upset her anymore than I already had. I wrapped my arms around her and she buried her face in my chest, still crying.
"You're not half bad," she said when she had cried herself out.
"Not so bad yourself, Jodie," I told her, grinning.
She changed position so that my arms were still around her, but we were looking into each other's eyes.
I wanted to hug her, and kiss her, and tell her she was fine. That she deserved better than Evan.
"Thank you," she whispered. "So much."
"Any time." I leaned my face in closer to hers. She stared up at me, an unreadable expression in her eyes.
She flinched suddenly, making me jump. "Maybe we should go inside."
I coughed awkwardly. "Yeah. Good idea."
Author's Note:
Yeah, yeah. I know. The romance chiz will start soon, so don't worry.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 1:47pm UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 4
"Jodie?" he said, smiling slightly.
"Oh my God, please don't say you work here too," I moaned.
"I don't," he said, still smiling.
"Thank the Lord!"
"I live here." A wide grin spread across his face. I sighed. Just my luck. "Don't worry, Dad, I'll show her around." He smiled at John - his Dad - and took my hand. I wiggled out of it and he laughed.
"I'm coming too," Eoin said quickly, following us out of the back door. I saw Conor roll his eyes. His green eyes. The same ones as Eoin had. They looked alike too. That must have been why I thought of Conor when I saw Eoin.
"So, you're alive," Conor commented.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Eoin asked.
"I'm talking to Jodie."
"I am. So?" I snapped.
"Must have been my inspirational words," he said, grinning.
I wanted to scream and cry. He didn't understand. He never would. I was going back and I was quitting this job. I couldn't bear another minute with him. Here he was, joking about me killing myself. He didn't know why, or anything about me. He would never understand. Because I was going to quit this job that I had had for less than two minutes, and then I was going to go home, give up on my Everything happens for a reason theory, and overdose. My heart was lead. I could only think of everything that should have killed me, and how it hadn't. I was an accident. That was for certain.
"Look what you did, Conor! She's crying!" Eoin said.
"I am?"
"I was joking, Jodie," Conor muttered. We had stopped walking and he was standing in front of me, his face inches from mine, his green eyes staring intently into my gray ones. He put his right hand on my left cheek and wiped away a tear I hadn't even noticed had fallen, leaving a trail of tingles. "I'm sorry."
I nodded, not trusting my voice. He stepped back then, smiling. He took my hand in his and started his tour.
All that week, I went to their house. Nobody came to visit the little petting farm. I spent most of my time with Conor and Eoin. Usually we played with the dogs when there was nobody there.
"We'll have to teach Jodie to ride horses," Eoin said one day, as we sat at the table eating bread and butter that their mother had given us.
"No, thank you!"
"You would like it," Conor assured me. "I'll take you out to the sheds, you can meet Teddy."
"Teddy?"
"The chestnut brown horse. Kind of the same colour as your hair," Eoin said, grinning at me.
I had gotten used to not getting offended whenever Eoin or Conor said something that would have offended me before. They had the same sense of humour. I had met their brother Darren. He was tall and muscular, with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He was very serious and didn't resemble Conor or Eoin. There was another brother, called Joseph. He was fifteen and was like Darren in both looks and personality. Maybe not as serious. They had a sister too. Her name was Annie. She had sandy-coloured hair and green eyes like Conor, but looked like Joseph. She was thirteen, and was care-free like Conor and Eoin. I liked her very much, though I didn't talk to her all that often. Their mother and father were a match made in Heaven. She had long, silky blond hair and green eyes. She was very beautiful and kind. Her name was Hazel, and I thought the name suited her very well.
Conor never asked about my history again. But sometimes he looked as if he wanted to read my mind. He didn't want to upset me though, so he never straight out asked.
After we had finished eating, Conor took me out to the sheds to see Teddy. I had seen him in the fields when I had first come here, and thought he was very beautiful.
"He's a nice horse," Conor told me. "Friendly. A people person, you could say."
"Evan wanted a horse," I whispered as I stroked Teddy's neck.
"Who?"
"A friend of mine," I said, smiling slightly.
Author's Note:
This is a looooooooonnng chapter. And there are two today because I'm bored.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 1:15pm UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 3
I was right. I hadn't seen Conor since. But his words did ring in my mind for a long time.
Everything happens for a reason, and there's a reason you're alive. You just have to find it.
In a way, he had had an impact on my life. I began to think about college, but knew there was no way I had enough money. I thought about finding a job, or working my way through college.
I spent nearly three weeks debating whether or not to look for a job. I decided I would, since I probably wouldn't get one anyway. I started my hunt at a sports shop, but the owner knew me and knew I had slight issues. Only tiny ones. Regardless, he said no. I thought later about how rude he had been about it and wished I had said something.
The second place I looked was a grocery shop, but they didn't need anyone - though the sign in the window said differently.
After stopping off in a few more places, I decided that everyone in the small town that I lived in knew I wasn't quite right in the head and weren't going to hire me. So I went out of the town and into the country. Not much was there. A pub that was depressing. I was suffocated with the smell of smoke and was glad when they said business was slow and that they couldn't hire me.
Just farms and fields, the odd house, but nothing much else. I saw a sign for a petting farm that needed help and decided I would try there. I came to a laneway that led up to a big house. I drove up and got out of the car. Wasn't much of a petting farm. A few sheep, horses, cattle, a donkey and a small park. It was in the middle of nowhere though, so I didn't see how they even had what little they had.
"Can I help you?" The voice came from behind me. I turned around and saw a boy, maybe seventeen or eighteen at the most standing there, with dark brown hair and very familiar green eyes.
For some reason, he reminded me of Conor. And that reminded me that nobody would want to hire a rude person. I put on my friendliest smile.
"Yeah. I saw the sign. This is the place that had the help wanted sign, right?" I said.
He grinned. "Yeah, that's us. I'll go get my Dad, he owns the place." He began to walk around the back of the house, gesturing for me to follow him. We went in the back door of the old house and into the kitchen. He went through a door and I stood there, the clock ticking.
He came back with a middle-aged man following him.
"Hello," the man said. "My name is John, and you've met my son Eoin."
"Yes, I have. I'm Jodie," I said, trying to sound sweet. I wondered if I was over-doing the smile.
He put out his hand for me to shake, and I took it. Conor would be proud, I though sarcastically.
"You really want to work here?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Work is work." I shrugged my shoulders, smiling still.
"Yeah, well, my other son, Darren, won't do any work here even though I promised I would pay him," he said, rolling his eyes. "You're really sure you want to work here?"
"Positive, I love the country," I lied. I had always hated it. Too many animals and nasty smells. Too many old farmers who spent all day watching horse racing in the only pub for miles, drinking whiskey from dawn until dusk. I hated it with a passion. But I wanted to go to college.
"What age are you?" he inquired.
"I'm nineteen, but I'll be twenty in three months time. In March," I told him.
He smiled. "Well, you're the only applicant so you're hired."
"Thank you," I said, trying not to sound overly happy, but still smiling out of politeness.
John then went out the door that he came in. I could hear him talking to someone. It sounded like he was saying "Just show her around. She's nice. Well, not nice exactly, but likeable."
Whoever it was, didn't seem so enthusiastic.
John came back with someone behind him.
My eyes went wide when I saw that it was Conor.
Author's Note:
The story is set in Ireland, and I live in the country. I'm just kind of writing what it's like here, so if you live in the country just, idk, don't get offended? Haha.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
April 26, 2013 2:25pm UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 2
I peered over the stone wall to the filthy water below. Long drop. Good. I climbed up onto the wall, shaking - I couldn't tell if I was cold or nervous, but guessed the latter. I stepped forward so I was right at the edge of the wall. If I stepped forward now I would die. I would be happier. I tried to make my shaking hands go still without much success. I looked straight ahead at the sun that had only just risen, bent my knees and....fell backwards?
I landed on the tarmac with a thud, the air knocked out of me. Someone was on top of me, their knees on my shoulders.
"Are you absolutely crazy?!" they shouted. Whoever it was, was glaring at me. I focused in on their face, and found myself looking into a familiar pair of green eyes. "You were going to jump, weren't you?!"
"What? Yes. Why?" I asked, confused, speaking too quickly.
"You could have died!"
"And?" I said.
Conor opened his mouth to speak, but snapped it shut. He was searching for the right words. "Well, I just don't like to think that you would do th-"
"You don't know me," I interrupted. "Why do you care?"
"I do know you," he said. "You're Jodie. You have a bad temper and you're very rude. I met you in the park."
"I'm rude?" I snapped.
"Yes, very. When people put out their hand for you to shake, you shake it. When they ask for your number, you give it to them. I don't know, my mother just taught me to be polite. I'm guessing yours didn't," he said.
"I'm the rude one?" I muttered.
He ignored me. "What's a pretty girl like you doing throwing herrself off a bridge?"
"What's an ugly guy like you doing talking to me," I hissed.
"I'm not ugly and you know that," he said, grinning at me. I couldn't very well argue with him and he knew that, so I changed the topic.
"Do you ever get p..sed off and leave?" I asked.
"Nope, never. I'm very tolerant of rude people like yourself," he said. "You never answered my question."
"Leave me alone."
"Not until you tell me." He was obviously very determined to get me to tell him.
"Get off of me first," I snapped.
He slid off of me and we stood up, dusting down any mud or dirt off of our clothes. "Go on."
"I don't want to talk about it," I muttered.
"Well, not now, then. You'll have to tell me sometime," he assured me.
"No I won't. I'll never see you again. Don't worry, you won't have to deal with any more rudeness from little old me," I snapped.
"Tell me."
"Mind your own business," I said, raising an eyebrow. He grinned.
"I like you, Jodie," he told me.
"I'm not so fond of you."
"Shame," he said. "But anyway, tell me."
"Stop being so nosey," I moaned.
"Okay, I will. If you promise never to do that ever again," he said.
"I don't have to promise you anything," I said.
"Well then, just remember, everything happens for a reason and there's a reason you're alive. You just have to find it," he told me. Then he turned and walked away.
Author's Note:
Sorry it's kinda short. Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

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Ireland201
posted a quote
April 25, 2013 1:58pm UTC

If you could see me now
chapter 1
He knelt down and pulled out a ring, asking me to marry him. I said yes, obviously. We left the restaurant then, and went to Marci's to pick up Tara. Evan went into Marci's house and came out with Tara in his arms. She was sleeping when he placed her in the car seat. As we were driving home and I played with the ring on my finger, I realized that this was the first time my life had been perfect in years. Everything was finally falling into place. I opened my mouth to tell Evan this, but then a car horn sounded, followed by screeching tyres and everything went into slow motion.
That was the last time my life would ever be perfect again.
As usual, I woke up screaming. "Just a dream," I whispered. "You're okay."
But I knew that it wasn't a dream, that it wasn't okay. Because that was my reality.
I looked over at the clock on my locker. It was six in the morning. It would be pointless to even try to go back asleep now. Even if I tried, I wouln't be able to. I got up and got dressed. I scraped my blond hair back into a tight ponytail. When I went downstairs to get breakfast, I realized that I had no food, so decided I go buy some.
As I was walking to the shop, I got sidetracked. I was passing by the park that I used to go to with Evan and Tara. I went in. It was practically empty, except for a few people who I took no notice of. I went to a large oak tree where we used to have picnics. It didn't feel right. It felt like part of the tree was missing. I knew what was wrong.
I lay against the trunk and drifted off into sleep. My nightmares didn't stay away though. But, throughout all of it, I kept hearing "Are you okay? Are you okay?" I opened my eyes and screamed and closed my eyes again when I saw the face inches from mine.
"Hey, sorry," the person said. From their voice, I could tell it was a man. I opened my eyes one at a time and saw that it was a handsome man, with sandy-coloured hair and green eyes. He smiled at me, revealing a set of perfect white teeth.
"You were screaming," he said. "And you're crying."
"I know," I muttered. "Just a bad dream."
"It's okay, it's not real," he said sympathetically.
I grunted. If only, I thought. "Sure."
"My name's Conor," he said, putting out his hand for me to shake. "What's yours?"
I ignored it it. "Jodie," I told him.
"Nice name," he commented, pulling his hand back.
"Mmm. Well, I better go. See you," I said, standing up.
"Hey, can I have your number?" he asked, grinning at me.
I wanted to scream at him, or cry, or hit him. "No." I walked away with my fists clenched.
I heard him call after me, but ignored him.
When I was walking down the street, I started thinking. Evan was gone. So was Tara. What else did I really have to live for? I found myself at the bridge over the river. It was a long drop, the water would be freezing with the winter cold. A person could only be strong for so long. At some stage, they will collapse - unless they had someone to help them through the pain, which I didn't. I could die now, and nobody would care.
Brilliant, I thought, grinning slightly.
Author's Note:
Hello Witty:) This is my new story, which I need motivation to finish. Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary

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*Sacha*
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 10:13am UTC

He'd say "Music was the home for your pain"
And explained I was young, he would say
Take that rage, put it on a page
Take that page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place
If You Could See Me Now - The Script

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happyfeet12
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 5:05pm UTC

Oh if you could
see me now.

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Nathannn
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 2:59pm UTC

TAKE THAT RAGE, PUT IT ON A PAGE
TAKE THE PAGE TO THE STAGE
BLOW THE ROOF OFF THE PLACE
(MY LAST QUOTE ON WITTY, FOREVER.)

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