Funny Quotes

Gxbbiecarter*
posted a quote
April 12, 2022 6:32pm UTC

It's been a year since I've been on here and so much has changed and i cant believe how childish and crazy i seemed. I started to delete a few things then realized this is all apart of my progression and its interesting to look back on how i used to be. Moving forward I hope i continue to chnage into a much better person for myself, my family and my future family.<3

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
April 9, 2022 11:58am UTC

I've finally stopped blaming everything on my mother. I bought a chaise longue to recline on while I'm blaming everything.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
April 2, 2022 3:33am UTC

A man or woman is truly successful to the extent he or she dedicates himself or herself to a life serving others or otherettes.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
March 26, 2022 3:37am UTC

The hand that feeds you is more nutritious than what you're being fed.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
March 19, 2022 12:50am UTC

Don't mind me. – Me, to my mind

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
March 12, 2022 5:50am UTC

More mute while they're on talk, than talk while they're on mute.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
March 12, 2022 5:50am UTC

When I was 13, I thought adversity was a place you went to learn advertising.
When I was 23, I realized that when I was 13 I was right.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
March 12, 2022 5:49am UTC

Some of my best friends I met in books. But then, I've always been partial to tiny, extremely flat people.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
February 26, 2022 3:34am UTC

If you need anything, just let me no.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
February 20, 2022 1:53pm UTC

Who waxes indignant shall buff resigned.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
February 12, 2022 4:40am UTC

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog it's fighting.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
February 12, 2022 4:38am UTC

I'll rage, rage against the dying of the light, right after my nap.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
February 5, 2022 4:05am UTC

If loving you is wrong, don't worry because I probably won't do it right.

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SociallyAwkwardPenguin
posted a quote
January 30, 2022 8:26pm UTC

I didn't even know this website still existed. I haven't been on here in like 8 years so I'm surprised I remembered my password. Witty was the best back in the day and it's literally the reason I chose my career path. I'm sad it's not as popular as it once was; I hope it comes back to life eventually. It's so funny to see the stuff I posted on here when I was 12 lol. Maybe I'll start posting again :)

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
January 29, 2022 5:27pm UTC

I like the rainbow flag because it doesn't include mauve.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
January 22, 2022 3:54pm UTC

To finish reading a good book is like leaving a lover: you can't wait to go to the bookstore and pick up the next one in the series.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
January 8, 2022 4:57pm UTC

The fact that dropped toast always lands buttered side down would be a blessing if you kept your floor covered in marmalade.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
December 30, 2021 10:00pm UTC

Life is a carousel: to help ensure proper functioning of the pulley connecting the pinion gear to the platform, always keep a spare drive belt.

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TheCovertComic
posted a quote
December 24, 2021 9:55pm UTC

There are more true stories based on movies, than movies based on true stories.

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edragon8
posted a quote
December 24, 2021 12:53am UTC

(From Gift Wrapped)
Radio Reporter: The recent blizzard has snowbound the mountain areas. The state highway patrol reports that all roads to the mountains may be closed for six weeks.
Sylvester: Six weeks? I'll starve!
[goes to the kitchen and opens the fridge, finding nothing but bird seed]
Sylvester: Bird seed...?
Sylvester: [opens the cupboard, which has the same contents as the fridge] Seed?
Tweety: Hey, putty tat! I found lots of food!
[Sylvester runs excitedly to the pantry, only to discover that it is also stuffed with bird seed]
Tweety: We don't have to worry, putty. There's enough food for a long time.
Sylvester: I'm a cat! I've gotta have cat food!
Tweety: Aw, poor putty tat. We've got to find something for you to eat. Let's see, what do putty tats like to eat...
Sylvester: Well, let's see, there's liver, and there's fish, and there's, uh... there's, uh...
[stares menacingly at Tweety]
Tweety: And then there's what, putty? What else is there?
Sylvester: Never mind, never mind. I got it solved.
[runs to the kitchen]
-Merry Christmas my fellow Wittians!-

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