If you save yourself for marriage, you're a bore.
IF YOU DON'T SAVE YOURSELF FOR MARRIAGE, YOU'RE A WHóRE-IBLE PERSON.
If you won’t have a drink, then you're a prude.
But they'll call you a drunk as soon as you down the first one.
If you can’t lose weight, then you're just fat.
BUT IF YOU LOSE TOO MUCH, THEN YOU'RE ON CRACK.
You're damnéd if you do, and damnéd if you don't.
So you might as well just do whatever you want.