happygirl22 · 1 decade ago
Hey um i love this and don't listen to the people who are rude. Stay strong and if you ever need to talk im always here. you can kik me
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goawayanthony* · 1 decade ago
you know what? This angers me just so much. You sound just so selfish. Being suicidal. You obviously don't understand the gift you have been given. You have been given the gift of life, and you almost decided to waste it. Throw it away. Not everybody gets that gift, kid. Some people hold onto it longer than others, and some people decide it isn't worth it. And those who decide it's not worth it just discust me.
-1 reply

Delicate* · 1 decade ago
Please do not judge if you do not know the story. Personally, I do not feel the struggle I face is selfish. Suicide is a real part of a mental illness known as depression. It can also come with many other mental illnesses, such as scitzofrenia (please excuse my atrocious spelling, it is not my forte). I felt selfish for so long after I had realized that my depression had led to my friend's anxiety. However, I realized one day that wanting help, reaching out, did not make me selfish. I had reached out to her, to others, my parents, my doctor, a psychiatrist, I'd wrote online and off, all these to try to deal with what was going through. When I tried to kill myself, I felt like I had no other option. Please understand, I had been suffering with issues with bullying, body insecurities, and self harm for many years at that point. I thought I'd reached my limit, that I could do this no more. I was scared and alone, and I tried so hard to find a reason to live, but could find none. I saw my only possible future as one where I was a cancer to society and to my family. To me, killing myself was the only choice left, only thing I could do. Since then, I have been trying to live my life. There are still times when suicide crosses my mind, and you must try to understand that people make me feel worthless every day of their lives. I know some amazing people out there are stronger than me, but I'm frail emotionally. I did not chose my battles. I did not ask God to make me this way. The fact that you said that I sound selfish because I'm being suicidal obviously reflects on your lack of understanding of the illness that is depression, the demon that is suicide. I never elected to feel irrevocably broken, but that is what I feel like. Selfish would imply that I only thought of myself, but every day I think of my family and friends. I don't want to hurt them, that has never been my intention. The thing is though, I'm a grenade. We all are. We're all waiting to explode, and if I do by my own hand, I fought tooth and nail until there was nothing left. I know you don't understand from my perspective, nor I from yours, but I never want to put my family and friends through my death. I haven't even mentioned that I've felt suicidal again to my friend that I mentioned above, because she deserves better than to worry. She deserves better than me.
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Miluiel* · 1 decade ago
Tell her thanks for me, please.
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*Tori Leigh* · 1 decade ago
I'm glad you can have such a wonderful and dedicated person in your life. :)
1 reply