i have been trying to fall asleep
with my eyes open wide
because i am afraid my nightmares
aren't going to be staying
on the inside much longer
and i have been struggling to
catch a breath deep enough to fill
my lungs but my body is
screaming with the weight
of being pulled under,
daring to drown me from
the inside out
and it is starting to feel like
no matter where i go
or who i try to become,
in both cases
i have not moved an inch
things have been getting hard
again
