"Those scars.... I know those scars" He said in a voice that wasnt his own. He was staring at my wrist
 
      "You would never understand" I looked away, pulling my sleeve down
       
      "But I know all to well" He touched my shoulder.

There was a long silence before he continued.
      
     "Those are battle scars. You were in a fight and each mark shows a time that you lost, but you havent lost the war yet."

He brushed my hair out of my face.

     "There is n o doubt in my mind that you'll win this war, but I also know that you are going to lose a

few more battles, I dont want you to, but i know that you will. I know that it is really hard to be in a war against yourself, I know

that you are fighting the demons inside of you and I also know that you think you are going to lose but as long as you are alive 

you are winning"

     "What if I dont want to win, what if I want to lose, what if I were to lose tonight" I sighed as a tear ran down my face

     "Then you will be greatly missed by a lot of people, but let me tell you what would happen if you took your life tonight, you

would'nt be ending all your pain, you'd be sending it to everyone else around you."

He watched me cry for a minute before continuing.

      "Your mother would wonder where she went wrong and blame herself for it and she'd pobably start drinking. Your

dad would cry every night, he would hate himself for this. Your bullies would start cutting. Your siblings would become sick. All

your close friends would wonder why they didnt see what was going on and none of them would be the same. Everyone who

didnt know you would wish they had gotten to know you. And I would hate you for doing this to everyone, I would also become

depressed and there is no doubt in my mind, I would kill myself."

My eyes became wide
 
    "You cant" I screamed

     "Bree, I love you, you are my best friend, I couldnt live without you" He yelled at me "I dont want to live without you ever, I

wouldnt be able to handle it"

     "I wont, but I'm not going to sit around and watch you hurt yourself, you need to choose, the blades or me" He looked me

dead in the eyes

     "What?! You cant make me choose" I whispered

     "Like h.ell I cant, I will walk away and never come back if you dont tell me you are going to try and stop" He yelled at me

     "I thought you loved me" I screamed angrily

     "Thats why I'm doing this"

He sighed

     "Please dont choose the blades over me"

     "I wont" I cried "I wont"







This is the conversation my best friend and I had  a year ago today, I have been trying to quit, I keep breaking but I'm going to keep trying to quit, I am just under a week clean. My longest period of being clean was four months. My shortest... Two days.  I am honestly trying to quit and my best friend has been by my side the entire time. I am so happy that he's stuck around. He is my inspiration.