I try to avoide glancing at the small box that holds my blade that once made me bleed so many times before. That used to me what I turned to, what I used to make myself feel better. I try to smile, be happy, I try to laugh, forget. I try and try and try. i give up. i cant ignore it as i banadage my leg to hide the blood the very least. no one sees my pain, no one even understands. no one can see. no one can hear. only time people know is when i tell them, when i let them know my pain thats the only time. i.  give. up.