Whenever I see a woman, with all the
motherly qualities that exist, I get jelous. I've always been
drawn to mother figures, llike teachers, therapists, friend's
moms, etc. It's not that I hate my mom...not all the time at
least. But she let something horrible happen to me, and for that, I
will never be able to forgive her. I just want someone I can say
anything to and not be mad fun of. Or be yelled at for finally
saying the truth. I want to be the first thing someone worries
about, not the son that ruined a family. I want a mother that would
stand up for me and truly take chage when I need her. I want
someone to actually listen. To love me more than her
"perfect" son. I want a mom that will be proud of me for
what I have acomplished and not dissapointed at what I haven't.
I want a mom who can understand my need for space from the person
who molested me. I want someone to actually undestand me and my
needs. I need someone to truly understand my need to be skinny. To
understand my hatred of food an calories and the fat rolls that
come with eating.
No matter how hard my mom tries, she will never be just what I
need. She just won't make the cut because of what she allowed
to happen.
I just want a mother who will love me and help me get through this
depression.
Whenever I see a woman, with all the motherly qualities that
9 faves
·
Jan 21, 2012 2:49pm
