Stolen
Chapter
1:
The day after Jamie and
Leela found out their dad had cheated on their mom they were
devestated. They sat on the porch the whole night, and all
morning. They didn't understand; their parents had such an
amazing relationship, why would he do that? But the answers
didn't come.
While Jamie was explaining something to Leela a car pulled up.
It was tanish and rusting. Inside were two old people. One a
women, and the other a man. They looked like they were angery,
but didn't do anything that would for sure say they were
mad.
Leela began to stand when they stepped out of their car. Leela
pulled Jamie up and held her hand. "Hello girls, are your
parents' home?" The old women asked. Leela stepped
forward and said "No, sorry. Can I take a message?"
The women smiled, and signaled the man. He walked back to the
car and pulled out a rope. "No," she smiled bigger,
"but we can take you." Leela stepped back and the old
man lurched forward grabbing Jamie and Leela with one arm.
"LET US GO." Leela said, trying to be nice, yet
sturn.
"No, honey." the old man said, putting ropes around
the two and tightening them so they couldn't move.
"Eh." The old women snapped. "What?" The
man said. "They'll do, but-" she was interupted
by a police siren. "DID YOU CALL THE COPS!?!?" She
yelled. Jamie smiled. The old man took something out of his
pocket; a knife. He held it against Jamie's throat, and
pushed her and Leela into the car. Then he and the old women
sat in the front, started the car, and drove off.
Their car spelled weird. It didn't smell like a car should.
It smelled of rotten eggs and rotten meat. Or in other words;
death. "Where are you taking us?" Jamie asked the old
women when she turned around to look at them. She frowned.
"Our home, darling. You see, our children left us, and
told us to find new children, so we did. And you two are
those children." She said this so calmly that Leela
coughed at her fakeness. "Does somebody have a cold?"
The man asked. Leela smirked, "No, I have a problem."
She whispered. The man frowned in the mirror.
"You two'll get use to it here, I promise." The
women smiled, and then turned around. Leela looked at Jamie
with wide eyes. She knew she couldn't say anything. But she
knew Jamie could read her facial expressions. So, she tried it.
Jamie got it perfectly. She agreed with another face and then
on they went.
When they turned onto a street neither Jamie or Leela knew, the
old women was whispering something to the man. He nodded and
then pulled over to the side. "So, you are going to be
staying with us for a long, long, time. We expect you to follow
the rules. NO running away; if that were to happen, the
consequences will be unbearable, understand? And-" He was
going on, and on. They really didn't care, considering that
they were going to find a way out of this place. "Kids,
what he's saying is that we want you to behaive. Is that
too much to ask for?" She replied, smiling.
Jamie could tell she was really an evil person: stealing
someone's kids, keeping them for her own. Totally not evil.
She knew that they were. She could see Leela knew, too.
"Can we go to bed when we 'home'?" Leela
asked, being a polite as she could. The man had a confused look
on his face, then finally; "We are home. Feel free.
I'll unlock the door."
They got out, and walked to the front door. The man patted them
on the back. He opened the door with a key and shoved the two
inside, then he untied to ropes and told them their room was in
the basement.
**Review at all? Thanks.
:D**
0 faves · 3 comments · Jan 12, 2012 5:28pm
NotebookStories
·
1 decade ago
No, actually. If someone had a knife to your throat and had your sister whom you loved dearly would you try to run? Considering that you and your sister can both be killed, hurt, worse? I don't think you would. -.-
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Daazz007
·
1 decade ago
Good grammar and spelling (only one spelling mistake), but maybe you should've taken more time to describe the girls' feelings. Think about this realistically; you've just been kidnapped, do you agree with the kidnapper says, act calm and be polite? No, you fight and try to get away. Think about it.
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Daazz007 · 1 decade ago
No, but you said that she "tried to be polite as she could" - in a situation like that, you are not polite; you want to get home. You could even added something like "but in her head, she was terrified" or something like that. No need to get mad, you asked for a review, and that's what you got. Would you rather I lied and told you it was amazing, or told you the truth so you could improve on it next time?
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