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yupitsjulia

TheWrittenInfection
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 5:31pm UTC

Liam: you're insecure
Me: Hell yeah, I am
Liam: don't know what for
Me: well, I'm ugly and awkward...
Liam: you're turnin heads when you walk through the door
Me: because people are surprised to see a deformed potato walking
Liam: don't need makeup to cover up
Me: you're right. Nothing will help this face
Liam: being the way that you are is enough
Me: yeah, enough to get laughed at
Liam: that's it. I give up on this chick!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 919 points

BriBri27
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 11:33am UTC

My Names Alex Russo and I like to poke things with a stick...
But, I haven't figured out how to make money with that yet, so I'm in school.
~ Wizards of Waverly Place

👍 this is good · read the comments · 850 points

MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
August 2, 2012 4:14pm UTC

*Home alone* *Mom texts me*
Mom: Make sure I licked the front door
Me: ...
Mom: licked*
Me: um..
Mom: Licked*
Mom: Licked*
Mom: WHAT THE HECK! I MENT LICKED!
Me: lol
Mom: SCREW THIS
Me: locked*
Mom: Yes. -.-

👍 this is good · read the comments · 857 points

momentsinlife
posted a quote
August 5, 2012 10:47pm UTC

*at resteraunt*
sign: no shirt, no shoes, no service
me: *whispers" heeeey... moooom
mom: what.
me: *still whispering* we dont have to wear pants
mom: shut up. youre embarassing me.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1035 points

alwaysdreambigx
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 8:16pm UTC

If it actually started raining men I think I’d just start crying and
be really terrified and not leave my house and just curl up into a ball
and pretend I couldn’t hear the slamming of bodies falling upon my roof
under no circumstances would I think “hallelujah”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1069 points

Pluto*
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 4:05pm UTC

*Me Playing With My Cat*
Me: Who's a little adorable kitty? You are! Yes, you are! I could just eat you up cause' you're so damn cute. Do you know that? I bet you don't, you adorable bundle of fluffy cotton!
Cat: Meow... *bites me*
Me: OW, YOU LITTLE SH*T! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?
*Five Minutes Later*
Me: Oh, you're so cute. Who's my fluffy boyfriend? You are, my little fluffy kitty boyfriend.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1109 points

vaginiall
posted a quote
August 5, 2012 8:37pm UTC

click to see this quote

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str0ng
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 12:06pm UTC

Dad:why are you crying?
Girl:my boyfriend dumped me!
Dad:(grabs shot gun) I'll be back.
while later dad comes back,
Girl:what the hell! why did you go kill him?
Dad:I didn't
Girl:where did you go?
Dad:to get you icecream
Girl:why the hell did you bring the shot gun?!
Dad:so I could get it for free
freakquotes.com

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1990 points

screwthehatersx
posted a quote
August 5, 2012 2:22pm UTC

Miley Cyrus: Nobody's perfect
Selena Gomez: Who says you're not perfect
Kelly Clarkson: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Ed Sheeran: What didn't kill me, it never made me stronger at all
Taylor Swift: You are the best thing, that's ever been mine
Beyonce: You turned out to be the, best thing I never had
Adele: Never mind I'll find, someone like you
Backstreet Boys: I'll never find someone like you
Cee Lo Green: Forget you
Birdy: I'll never forget you
WHO DO WE BELIEVE HERE?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1174 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 9:52pm UTC

click to see this quote

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 9:34am UTC

My friend Andrew smokes.Three weeks ago we were at the gas station so he could buy cigarettes. When he has handed the cashier his ID, we heard a little voice say, "Mommy says smoking is bad for you." We spun around to find ourselves faced with a five year old little boy. Andrew looked at him and said, "You're absolutley right," then turned to the cashier and said, "I won't be needing those anymore." The cashier handed him his ID back and he hasn't smoked since.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1505 points

behindthissmilexx
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 10:59pm UTC

I was at McDonald's when I saw some chuby chick making fun of a disabled kid
Me: you know it's not right to make fun of somone for that it could happen to any of us
Girl: God gave me a mouth to Speek and I'm going to use it
me: well god gave you a mouth to eat too,but looks like you have abused that privilege.
Girl: -speechless-
Me: oh and you might want to wipe that katchup off your chin
Girl: -goes to wipe chin-
Me: no,your other chin
Nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1299 points

shadysback
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 4:12pm UTC

Teacher: What would you do if you were in the olympics?
Student: Gymnastics
Student: Swimming
Student: Track
Student: Volleyball
Me: Tom Daley

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LiliBlackHeart
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 6:03pm UTC

The fake laugh you do
When you don't understand what somebody just said to you

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xashleyx01
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 8:17pm UTC

~• ~•
~• ~• ~•
~• ~•
First known picture of Michael Phelps.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1172 points

mostwouldbehappy
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 5:36pm UTC

*MADAGSACAR*
Me: oh my god, my period is late.
Me: AM I PREGNANT?
Me: Wait...
Me: Still a virgin.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: I must be carrying the next baby jesus.
Me: Seems legit.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 727 points

oursong
posted a quote
April 29, 2012 10:49am UTC

hi spider. nice spider.
let me pet you,
WITH MY SHOE.
haha, spider.
dead spider.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1088 points

j3susfr3ak
posted a quote
April 12, 2012 3:24pm UTC

LETS PLAY YES OR NO.
RULES: You can only say yes once & no once.
Are you beautiful _____... Are you lying? ____.
Just some inspirational quotes to make your day(:
Format by Sandrasaurus

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sayyxxjayyxox33
posted a quote
April 10, 2012 8:19pm UTC

dont give me that look dont act like we never met
dont walk past me like im invisible Dont pretend i dont exsist dont lie and say you never cared dont pretend the feelings were never there dont pretend you dont know how much you mean to me dont let go of me so easily dont avoid me when you see me in the halls dont act like you dont care about me at all dont be this way , you know this isnt how its subpost to be Dont do this to me Just dont.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 61 points

MndJ
posted a quote
April 10, 2012 8:11pm UTC

umbl
Me: I talk to myself.
Me: Same.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1011 points

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