what is love anyway?
prolouge
"Ow, oww," Ryan yells as he winks at me, "I'm single now, come at me, rawrrr."
I burst out laughing and he clicks the play button on my iTunes account. The Taylor Swift song starts playing and he grabs my hand to pull me up. We start dancing, close, and he twirls me around. I laugh as I close my eyes and spin. He lets go and catches me right before I hit the ground.
"Woah," I slip out. Ryan smiles and pulls me close again, doesn't he know he's driving me crazy? I can barely breathe right now and my heart is beating so fast.
"I love you, Ryder," he says hesitantly as he bites his lip. I back up from him so quickly that I bump into a chair.
"What?" I almost scream at him.
Ryan looks worried, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." My phone vibrates and I can barely stand up to grab it.
"I-uh-well I love you, too," I stammer out. His face lights up and his eyes twinkle with a million questions.
"Really? I thought Chase..," Ryan says and tries to avoid eye act.
"I don't know, I can't be here. I'm sorry," I yell out as I grab my stuff from his room and start walking outside.
"RYDER, wait," I hear him scream behind me which somehow pushed me to run away faster. It starts raining right before the entrance into the woods, forget. I collapse under a tree and cry. What the hell is happening? I love Chase now, not Ryan. I'm done with Ryan, we already established that we're just friends last year. Right? He's joking, I'm being punk'd. This is not how I dreamed that moment would happen, for him to tell me that he loves me and me just stand there speechless. What is wrong with me? I need to text him, and Chase, and my mom. I frantically search my bag, it's not here. Oh my god, no way. forget. I must have left it at Ryan's house. I've been sitting here for at least 10 minutes, I must look like stuff. I'm starving, ugh do I have food? I hear footsteps coming and I jump up. "Who's there?"
"Ryder," someone calls my name. Ryan. He comes from behind a tree and walks up to me."Here," he says emotionless. I grab my phone from his hand and our hands brush, his hand jumps back as if I shocked him. "Are you okay?" I ask. He nods, "I'm really sorry," he mutters and turns to leave. I grab his hand and move my body next to his. "Don't be," I whisper. Ryan moves his face toward mine in hesitation and touches the back of my head. I put my hand on the back of his head, too, and push it. His lips hit me like an electric shock that tingles through me. I back up, "You don't know how long I've wanted you to do that." He smiles nervously and kisses me again, harder. We stop because my phone starts vibrating. I check it, awkwardly, as he watches me. 2 new messages, 1 missed call. Chase. I look at Ryan and trust my instinct. "I need to leave," I announce as I start walking out of the woods toward a street. He yells after me but all I can hear is the thunder and rain. Tears pour down my face, what am I doing?
ten faves to know if I should keep going :x
"had a lot of moments that didn't last forever, now you in
the corner tryna put it together. how to love."
xoxwriterxox