Friday night, I'm sitting here, CRYING over him. I've been crying all day. I haven't cried this much in a long time. What sucks the most is I know he's out somewhere having a good time with his friends while I'm home alone, thinking about him. May 2nd 2010. That's when all of this started. Here I am, December 2nd 2011. A year and a half later. Everything seems hopeless and broken. He left. He's not coming back. It all happened so quickly. I don't even know what went wrong. We were so happy. Then, one night, out of no where, he says he's done. Everything I do reminds me of him. I can't listen to a song without a memory being tied behind it. I gave up so much for him. I stopped talking to people he didn't feel comfortable with me talking to. The relationship between me and my sister was ruined because of him. I made him my everything only to be left with nothing when he left. The girl I hate and can't stand? Yeeah, they're talking. The thought of him being with someone else KILLS me. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I had emotional breakdowns in school. I never knew the true meaning of a heartbreak till now. My heart just feels.. I don't know. I'm broken. He's okay. It sucks to see what we have become something we had. Everything that was said and done are now just memories that'll soon fade away. I seriously thought we could make it. I thought that no matter what happens, we'd get through everything..TOGETHER. But, clearly, I was wrong. We can't make it through everything. We weren't strong enough. We let things get in between us. I'll never forget what happened between us. I'll never forget those nights we'd stay up till 5 in the morning, talking about everything. Laughing. Smiling. Just forgetting everything else. We'd talk about getting married and how amazing our life would be. We talked about how many kids we'd have. We talked about our happily ever after. This story had a different ending than I had planned. What I hate the most is that I'm here, crying my eyes out feeling so heartbroken and lost, this isn't even phasing him. He's off, having a good time without me. I'd do absolutely anything to get him back. I really would. And, I'd killll to know what he's thinking about right now. Am I on his mind? Doubt it. Will he come back? Not a chance. But there's still a part of me that's holding on to the hope that one day, he will. In the meantime, I'll be here. Waiting. I'll never give up until he gives me a reason to. Until then, here I am. With open arms. I'll never forget what we had. I love you, forever & always. xoxox.
xokvzelayaox