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Bee
posted a quote
July 8, 2012 1:05am UTC

Have any of you ever watched Paranormal Activity 1, 2 or 3?
Just wondering.
Just wondering.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 95 points

BriBri27
posted a quote
July 6, 2012 5:14pm UTC

you see that heart? yeah I'd click it snd you'll get a suprise on your profile later

👍 this is good · read the comments · 692 points

adamthepanda
posted a quote
July 6, 2012 2:34pm UTC

Ok so aparently according to the Police Department in my town it is OK for a parent to beat their child until he/she is bruised and bloody. The parent won't get arrested, fined, or even a verbal warning. Instead, they will tell the beaten child "It is ok for your dad to beat you, it is actually a good thing, it diciplines you, teaches you how to be strong and take a hit." They said exactly that to my friend when his father beat him. I think it is totally wrong that they won't do anything and they tell abused kids that it is OK for their parent to abuse them, and unless the abused kid is in the hospital or has a broken bone, they won't do anything about it.
THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE, IT IS WRONG.
FAV if you agree and support me.
I'm trying to get a petition going against the Police Department in my town to change this issue.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 667 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 6, 2012 1:55pm UTC

Moonwalking into jail because
you're a smooth criminal.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 893 points

Colette*
posted a quote
July 6, 2012 2:25pm UTC

Hi! I'm a bra. I touch your girlfriend's boobs daily. Jealous yet?(;

👍 this is good · read the comments · 898 points

harrystylesisfit
posted a quote
July 6, 2012 4:05pm UTC

american kid:
"so, you're from the uk? cool! so do you have tea with the Queen?"
british kid:
"do you go to mcdonalds with Obama?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1623 points

carson5482
posted a quote
July 6, 2012 10:09am UTC

We're Teenagers #2 I delete my entire password if I think I might have mistyped ♥ one letter. Like for a series/follow for a follow

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1001 points

OneDirectionQuotes
posted a quote
July 5, 2012 3:15pm UTC

Nicki Minaj: F/ck who you want and
F/ck who you like."
Directioners: WHERE'S ONE DIRECTION?!?!"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 565 points

yonkers
posted a quote
July 5, 2012 12:40pm UTC

Lucid Dreaming
What is it?
A lucid dream is a dream in which you're aware that you're awake. This means you're
aware that nothing can hurt you. You can control yourself, and if you practice a lot,
you can even control the dream and the things in it.
How do you do it?
There are a couple of methods of doing it, most people I know normally just lay completely
still with their arms by their sides and their eyes closed. You must lay completely still. Your
brain will start sending signals to your body like itches or wanting to move/open your eyes
but you have to ignore all of these impulses! It's hard but totally worth it. Make sure you're
in the right mindset while lying there (e.g. thinking about what you want to dream about
and focusing completely on lucid dreaming). After about 20-30 minutes, you'll feel weight
on your chest, but don't worry, it's not scary. This means you're finally in sleep paralysis!
Open your eyes and you'll start to hallucinate, then close them again and you'll start to
dream instantly.
My experience
I normally use the Wake Back To Sleep method (Google it) but some people find that
annoying and it ruins your sleeping pattern. In some of my dreams I've met the care
bears, been given a million dollars, visited Paris, and I've only had one bad experience
but since you're aware your dreaming, it doesn't really matter. I try to lucid dream about
once or twice a week, it's truly an awesome experience. So yeah I just wanted to share
this with you guys so you could try it. If you have and questions, ask me! (:

👍 this is good · read the comments · 583 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
July 5, 2012 4:04am UTC

okay, so you know the nursery rhyme
"It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring,
he went to bed and bumped his head,
and didn't get up in the morning"?
I always thought that he just got up in the afternoon.
I only just worked out that he died.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 503 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 639 points

KatieInAStrangeLand

posted a quote
July 5, 2012 3:21pm UTC

And does anyone else read:
'Put this into your own words'
As:
'Rearrange the words slightly'?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1458 points

Bravosierra*
posted a quote
July 5, 2012 11:20am UTC

Some guy on facebook called me fat.
So, I replied with "Wee. Thanks."
Then he's "You hungry? Want some food."
My brilliant next response was
HE/L F/CKING YEAH.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1126 points

maria_
posted a quote
July 2, 2012 8:33pm UTC

Fave if you were born
In 1997 / 1998.
format by sandrasaurus

👍 this is good · read the comments · 223 points

Bravosierra*
posted a quote
July 2, 2012 7:58pm UTC

**Me Scrolling Through My Witty Feed*
One Direction.
One Direction hate.
OMG THIS IS ACTUALLY FUNNY
Hey, if I wrote a quote then put -Zayn after it, i'd probably get a top quote.
One Direction hate.
I don't hate One Direction I hate Directioners.
Harry and Louis dating.
One Direction
One Direction
One Direction
One Direction hate

👍 this is good · read the comments · 201 points

sophsunflower12
posted a quote
July 2, 2012 8:33pm UTC

those dreams that feel so real
you think they actually happened

👍 this is good · read the comments · 417 points

MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
July 3, 2012 12:07am UTC

Asking for faves
is against the rules...
But is asking for comments?(;

👍 this is good · read the comments · 506 points

xHello
posted a quote
July 2, 2012 9:43pm UTC

If swearing is immature,
why is it referred to as "adult language"?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 614 points

SayingWhatMeFeel_Mobile
posted a quote
July 2, 2012 7:03pm UTC

Directioners and One Direction haters..
Stop fighting over Witty please?
Love,
Wittians that don't really care if there's 1D love or hate quotes, and are just annoyed by the stupid fighting.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 448 points

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
July 2, 2012 8:13pm UTC

When people get trapped underwater in movies,
I hold my breath until they escape to see if I would’ve survived.
format credit: littleleftofthemiddle

👍 this is good · read the comments · 755 points

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