wittylovexoxo's Favorites

Cookiemonster99
posted a quote
October 28, 2012 12:40pm UTC

You wanna know
who's beautiful?
Don't read the first word again because it's me.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 337 points

wishicouldfindyou
posted a quote
October 27, 2012 8:01pm UTC

LONG BUT WORTH READING
,A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
TUMBLR

👍 this is good · read the comments · 357 points

yourcool
posted a quote
October 18, 2012 5:33pm UTC

little old ladies in wheelchairs with
blankets over their legs. you aren't fooling anyone. we know you'e retired mermaids.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1051 points

Raining_Sunshine
posted a quote
October 22, 2012 8:27pm UTC

I've been thinking about doing my homework for hours now...
Well, it's the thought that counts..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 138 points

CarCar27
posted a quote
October 22, 2012 8:23pm UTC

I'm actually not funny, i'm just really rude
and people think i'm joking

👍 this is good · read the comments · 179 points

never_forget
posted a quote
September 25, 2012 5:13pm UTC

Me: I Want A Boyfriend.
Mom:
Dad:
Sister:
Bird:
Teachers:
Michael Phelps:
Rock:
Penguin:
Batman:
Pillow Pet:
Harry Potter:
French Fries:
Abby Lee Miller:
Tim Tebow:
Snuggie:
Animal Balloon:
Nemo:
Scooby Doo:
Zayn:
Ferb: HAHAHAHAHAHAH no.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 422 points

itsamadworld
posted a quote
September 25, 2012 4:36pm UTC

You're ten and you wear a pushup bra.
The only boobs I had when I was ten were Drake and Josh.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 907 points

ambear24
posted a quote
September 23, 2012 12:55pm UTC

how awkward am i?
last night, my boyfriend and i were cuddling on the couch.
i got cold and rolled up into a ball.
and then i blurt out,
"check it out. i'm an armadillo."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1360 points

Savannahxaleese
posted a quote
September 29, 2012 10:45am UTC

one third of me: I want a relationship so much, relationships are so cute
one third of me:lets just makeout, yeah kissing. and be slutty. friends with benefits! i dont need a relationship
one third of me: screw everyone I hate people

👍 this is good · read the comments · 415 points

laaurenn
posted a quote
September 28, 2012 9:17pm UTC

She wears short skirts
I eat pizza
She's cheer captain
& I'm still eating pizza.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1173 points

Ash_leigh*
posted a quote
September 7, 2012 4:25pm UTC

Today he rejected me.
I finally went up to him and started talking, just about regular stuff.
He wasn't really paying attention to me, and I could tell he was more interested in the food in front of him than he was in me.
I've spent every day with him for at least a year.
my dog can be so dissmissive.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 770 points

Peace1231
posted a quote
September 6, 2012 8:16pm UTC

I hate the word
homophobia.
It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an a/sshole.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 343 points

Johanna Mason*
posted a quote
August 31, 2012 11:23pm UTC

I saw a baby with a shirt that says:
FEED ME
OR NOBODY SLEEPS.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 485 points

hailstorm37
posted a quote
August 31, 2012 10:14pm UTC

*Going to dinner with mom*
Mom: Come on honey, lets go!
Me: Okay, can I bring some friends?
Mom: Yeah, sure thats fi...
Me:
Mom:
Me:
Mom: Put the posters back

👍 this is good · read the comments · 569 points

ThatsJustLifee
posted a quote
August 25, 2012 8:47pm UTC

Friends: What are you going to buy your dad for his birthday?
Boy: A flower..
Friends: LOL! A flower? Is your dad gay?! HAHAHAHA!
Friends: *Walks away*
Boy: *later* Puts the flower on his dads grave, and cries.
Don't be so quick to judge people.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1509 points

OreoLover
posted a quote
August 14, 2012 7:32pm UTC

Person One: What's the dumbest rumour you've ever heard?
Person Two: In middle school, people were saying that i was homeschooled.
..even though I went to school..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 833 points

wittylovexoxo
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 8:11pm UTC

me in summer: ITS SO F/CKING HOT!!!
me in winter: OMG ITS SO COLLDDDDDDDD.
spring and fall is where it's at (:
♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

soup6996
posted a quote
August 15, 2012 10:31pm UTC

a_big_white_van started following you. - 2:27 am August 16, 2012
Well... that's hot.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 892 points

OMGIMATACO
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 11:08am UTC

F∞d

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 262 points

wittylovexoxo
posted a quote
August 14, 2012 5:15pm UTC

Looking back at the most liked quotes in witty history, there all quotes, or cute stories
now all the top quotes are fake conversations, and complaing that you dont like the "new witty". if you dont like it, change it.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

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