Witty Profiles

twilightislife

1. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2008 4:30pm UTC
   YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WHEN:You insist on moving to Forks. You love when it is rainy, cloudy, or snowy out, and hate when it is sunny. You check the weather in Forks when you don’t even live near it. You’re dying to get a silver Volvo. You’re obsessed with any name in the books. You introduce yourself to people as Mrs. Cullen. You get into fights with your Twilight-obsessed friends about which of you is going to marry Edward. Every time someone asks you who you have a crush on, your immediate response is “Edward Cullen.” You plan on naming your kids after characters from the books. You demand that everyone you know reads the books. You ask someone what chapter/page number they’re on when they're reading one of the books and from that information you can recite exactly what is going on. You’ve read the books so many times they’re starting to fall apart. everyone at school knows you as “the Twilight freak.” Twilight is all you ever think about. You have gotten almost everyone you know to read Twilight. You plan to marry Edward Anthony Masen Cullen (you're one and only true love). you suddenly want to be very pale. your favorite website is a Twilight fan site. your new favorite gem is topaz. I am completely obsessed<3
   
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2. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2008 4:15pm UTC
   Because Sometimes, TeamJacWardYou Just {Ca n n o t} Choose<3!rate highhh if you love EDWARD and JACOB<3!
   
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3. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2008 3:53pm UTC
   A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:"When I was born I was black,""When I grew up I was black,""When I'm sick I'm black,""When I go in the sun I'm black,""When I'm cold I'm black,""When I die I'll be black.""But you sir...""When you're born you're pink,""When you grow up you're white,""When you're sick, you're green,""When you go in the sun you turn red,""When you're cold you turn blue,""And when you die you turn purple.""And you have the nerve to call me Colored"The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...saw this on quote fight(:
   
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4. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2008 3:38pm UTC
   (his name)& hes the onewho makes me smile non-stop who gives me butterflies eveytime i see himwho everytime we hug i can never let gowho i can never get out of my headwho i want to be with forever <3 100% mine(:
   
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5. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2008 3:11pm UTC
   You can tell me to grow up,To stop being fake.You can talk about meAll you want.Tell people things About me.Ruin my friendships.But just know,I'll never go as lowAs you andLie to makeYourself look better.
   
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6. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 6, 2008 2:58pm UTC
   i wish you knew how much of a fake you are.
   
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7. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 5, 2008 12:21pm UTC
   click to see this quote
   
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8. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 3, 2008 3:41pm UTC
   Do You Know?Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
   
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9. twilightislife
   posted a quote
   November 3, 2008 3:40pm UTC
   Do You Know?Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
   
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10. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 3:39pm UTC
    Do You Know?Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    
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11. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 3:38pm UTC
    Do You Know?Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    
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12. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 3:35pm UTC
    #11 Only in America. . .Can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.
    
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13. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 3:34pm UTC
    #10 Only in America. . .Do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
    
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14. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 3:33pm UTC
    #9 Only in America. . .Do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
    
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15. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 3:32pm UTC
    #8 Only in America. . . Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
    
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16. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 2:40pm UTC
    #7 Only in America. . . Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
    
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17. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 2:34pm UTC
    #6 Only in America. . . Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
    
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18. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 2:34pm UTC
    #5 Only in America. . . Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
    
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19. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 2:33pm UTC
    #4 Only in America. . . Do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    
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20. twilightislife
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 2:32pm UTC
    #3 Only in America. . . Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    
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