help me!
well i dont plan on taking the time to make this quote extravagantly pretty or attention getting because thats not really the point of me writing this. i'm in a predicament and i need to just let loose about it (thank god for witty). Anyways, here goes nothing......
about one month ago, i got a message on facebook. little did i know one little message would send me diving head first into an endless pit of crazy emotions. The message was form a boy. No, not just a random somebody, but a boy that had just broken one of my friends hearts. ->heres some history, so you can better understand the situation: this friend of mine is a really great girl. she claimed me as her "new bestfriend" on my first day of 9th grade (yeah, i started highschool at a totally new school with zero friends). from that day, her and i hung out alot and became really close. then she met this boy(the one that messaged me), we'll call him jack for now. anyways, jack and my friend (we'll call her Jill) got to talking and eventually started dating. at first, i thought they were adorable together, but that thought eventually changed.. jack started becoming really over protective of jill, he chose what she could and could not wear; when she would go out with her friends he assumed she was cheating on him and he would flip out on her. if she went to a party that he wasnt at, he would call her and yell at her the entire time and assume she was getting drunk and cheating on him and just a bunch of over-controlling stuff like that. at this point, she was so blinded by "love" that she denied the fact that it was not a healthy relationship. so they went on like that until one day jill's parents realized what whas happening. they tried to keep jill isolated from jack so she would realize what he was doing to her but none of it worked. jill's parents really disliked jack at this point and jack was getting fed up with it, so he just broke up with jill. this crushed her completely. she was so lost, and still is, without him. so back to the message; all it said was "between me and you, how close are you and jill? i know you dont really know me at all." now, i was a bit confused as to where he could be going with this message, but jill and i had grown apart alot over the time she and jack dated because of the way he smothered her. so my reply was "we're not super close, but we're friends. why?" he replied with "idk, i think your kinda pretty you know lol... but like i dont want to be sounding retarded lol, so it'd be cool if it was kept between us." at this point i just should have stopped relplying, but his kind words got the best of me, so i had to explore further. i told him thank you and that it would stay between him and i. then i got the courage to ask what happened between him and jill (seeing as how i had only heard her side of the story). he basically told me that he couldnt stand her parents or her friends or the way she acted so he ended it. then he went into this big speech about how you cant change anyone and you shouldnt have to and blah blah blah. unfortunetly, the conversation got much deeper and went much further than it should have gone and we ended up exchanging phone numbers.. one month later & here i am texting him every day being called honey, baby, sweetheart ect. and i cant lie, i do have genuine feelings for the kid, but i have this constant feeling of guilt, especially when jill is alwayd posting status about how she lost the thing she loved the most and she misses him and everything. its eating me alive. him & i both discussed how we dont want the drama of everyone finding out about us and going public and all that so we both agreed to keep it on the low. but its getting harder to do so, he wants to hug me at school and walk me to classes and all that stuff but i am so nervous that jill will find out and my reputaion will be completely ruined. not only that , but i will lose the one girl that was there for me form the very first day. i just cant do this to her. i tried to talk to jack about this but he always says he wont give up on me, its worth a try. i'm not so sure sneaking around with a boy behind everyones back is "worth a try". in reality, i'm throwing away everyting for this stupid boy and now i'm in way too deep with him to just stop. it was a really stupid mistake to even reply to that message in the first place. to be honest, i think the pressure of school, and now this whole situation is strssing me out beyond belief. i got sick two and a half weeks ago and its been so bad that i havent fully recovered yet. i have been out of school for these two and a half weeks home alone every day arguing with myself over what i should do about the jack and jill situtaion, and stressing out about how much make up work i am going to have and so much more. i think all of this has caused me to become severely depressed. my mom is so worried about me and keeps saying if i need to talk about something she is always here for me but its so hard for me to talk to anyone especially my mom about this. so i guess i'm turnign to you witty girls and asking for your help and advice. just anything you can tell me about this, please comment. i need it now more than ever.
if you took the time to read this i really do appreciate it; and any and all advice is welcome.
thank you♥
sarah_x3