In movies, they have big long paragraphs about how sorry they are or they copy things from Shakespeare or something but I know you’re not one for sappy love stories or things that come from my heart and frankly I’m sick of writing my heart out in words cause believe it or not, its actually difficult, and I’m not sure whether I’m sorry… When I was little I met this guy, we laughed, had fun and did what little kids did back then. He was my mate. I fell for him, and I fell hard. Little did I know that this guy would be the biggest complication of my life when I grew up.
I’m older now and I have a lot more to worry about than boys, trust me! But I was right you are by far the most intense, complicated, confusing, worrying thing in my life. Every day I make myself believe that I have to get over you because I always end up the same, a mess with tears streaming down her face. I don’t actually know what I did and that is the thing that is eating away at my stomach every day. I don’t know. How can I not know? I obviously didn’t mean to do anything bad if I can’t remember?
I always say to you that I’m happy you’ve found someone else and the truth is, im severely broken inside but I am glad because I’d rather have other people happy than myself. And if to do so, I have to let you be with another girl then so be it. You have a child. That’s amazing and yes I felt overwhelmed but children is literally the best possible thing that happens in the world and im glad that you’ve been blessed with such a beautiful one.
After sitting down for 4 days straight I finally came up with what I was going to say in this… Yeah, long time. But everything I say here I actually mean. There is a guy here who has my back through thick and thin, he is my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time. He is amazing and good-hearted and I could go to him for anything. If you move on I always have people to go to so I’ll be fine. I would never think of getting with this guy cause he doesn’t want to be with me either but I don’t mind cause all I want right now is a friend. I had that in you when I needed it those couple of weeks ago, but this guy doesn’t complain about me going on about my depressing life, he understands and helps me through it. I guess I was sort of expecting a person like that in you. That was my mistake. A leopard doesn’t change his spots and I have learnt that in many situations this year.
If you find all this confusing, yeah I understand. This is pretty much just me word vomiting my mind.
ratbag