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osnapitzbrittania

  1. xoHollisterrGirlyyxo xoHollisterrGirlyyxo
    posted a quote
    May 15, 2011 10:17pm UTC
    Thanks to Facebook,
    I now know what everyone's bathrooms look like, one mirror at a time. ♥

  2. xoHollisterrGirlyyxo xoHollisterrGirlyyxo
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2011 5:39pm UTC
    If I ever get a cat,
    I'm gonna name it Wiska Leefa. ♥

  3. lovecrazy lovecrazy
    posted a quote
    July 11, 2013 12:30pm UTC
    HA HA HA guuuuys I just got reported and blocked on Facebook.
    It's actually quite funny, so let me tell you. A girl I go to school with posted a picture of her in a bikini doing the duck lips and peace sign saying "getting tan" actually she wasn't tan she's burnt af. Anyway, that bikini is 5x too small... So I commented "The camel called, he wants his toe back." She didn't like that too well uh ohhhh we've got an angry dorito on the loose guys.

  4. marisalynne marisalynne
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2011 5:21pm UTC
    The other day I was in Target buying makeup.
    Next to me was a girl and a boy holding hands.
    The girl was looking at the eyeliner and the the boy simply says, "Put that down."
    The girl looked confused, and he just said
    "You're so beautiful without it, why do you waste all your money to cover it?"
    Then he turned to me and said
    "You don't need it either. You're pretty without it."
    Guys like him give me hope♥
    -true story.
    -my quote.

  5. lillylovee lillylovee
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2011 6:09pm UTC
    Me: *Sneeze*
    Class: *Silence*
    Most popular girl in grade: *Sneeze*
    Class: God bless you sweetheart Jesus Lord let God protect you from that horrible sneeze! Amen!

  6. kayleer5 kayleer5
    posted a quote
    October 20, 2011 5:27pm UTC
    today i was in the car with my boyfriend and his mom. i started laughing, he looked at me and said "you laugh too much." his mom yelled at him and said
    "maybe your face is just funny."
    i officially love his mom

  7. kiannaxx413 kiannaxx413
    posted a quote
    May 19, 2011 2:38pm UTC
    click the [♥]
    if you ever felt bad for being mean to your mom

  8. smilimoose smilimoose
    posted a quote
    August 9, 2009 10:33pm UTC
    A man was in a locker room,
    changing after playing golf.
    Suddenly, his phone rang.
    He put it on speaker for
    the rest of the guys to hear.
    "Hey hun!" A woman said.
    "Hey babe." The man said.
    "Oh my gosh, I just found this beautiful leather jacket... but it was 200 bucks... can I get it?"
    The man replied, "Of course baby! Anything for you."
    "Thanks! And by the way, I passed the dealership and saw the car we want, but its 20,000 dollars."
    "Oh, who cares! Get it with all the options and features!" The man replied.
    "Really! Oh, and lastly, the house we wanted is back on the market... the asking price is 750,000, and they expect it'll go fast." She said.
    "Okay then offer 900,000- we'll be sure to get it then!"
    "Ok! Great hun. I gotta go. I love you! Byee!"
    "Bye." He shut the phone.
    Every man in the locker room looked at him in disbelief.
    Then the man said....
    "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"

  9. stephismagical stephismagical
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2010 11:08pm UTC
    Dear Witty Girl,
    Feel free to add this to your faves {♥}
    As a reminder
    So when you are married and happy
    (And somehow remember you have a Witty Profiles account),
    You can come and tell us
    That what we fight for and cry for
    Really does exist.♥ ♥ ♥

  10. __cityofangels __cityofangels
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2009 11:55pm UTC
    And with every complex problem
    there is a simple solution

  11. clicktheheartif clicktheheartif
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2011 9:03pm UTC
    Hey, you there!
    Can you stop scrolling
    for just a second;
    and click the heart for...
    the ones who lost
    their lives on
    Sept. 11, 2001.

  12. kellyy823 kellyy823
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2011 7:56pm UTC
    ♥ Today I saw
    a teenage boy
    in line at wal-mart at 1 AM with
    a box of tampons,
    chocolate,
    cough medicine
    & a box of tissues
    >>guys like that give me hope.<<

  13. cherrypink cherrypink
    posted a quote
    February 11, 2011 3:00pm UTC
    I BLAME MOVIES
    for my high expectations of relationships

  14. truegurl09 truegurl09
    posted a quote
    November 4, 2010 4:20pm UTC
    Boys are Stronger Than Girls?
    Please...
    Can you bleed for a week and survive?
    Can you squeeze 14 inch baby from a 9 centimeter hole?
    Can you carry a 7 pound baby in your stomach for 9 months?
    Can you take care of a child, cook, clean, and talk on the phone atonce?
    Can you carry 10 8 pound s.h.o.p.p.i.n.g b.a.g.s?
    Can you go a [[week]] only eating [[salad]]?
    Can you --->face heartbreak?
    Can you watch the (love of your life) be with someone else?
    Can you burn your forehead with a straightener and not complain?
    Can you wear a thin piece of s t r i n g in your a s s all day?
    Can you walk all day in 4 inch stilletos?
    Can you cry all night then wake up the next morning like everythings okay?
    I Didn't Think So.

  15. texaskangaroo texaskangaroo
    posted a quote
    October 11, 2010 10:10pm UTC
    this Halloween
    i'm dressing all in red
    and trick-or-treating at 4 PM
    so i can say
    "i'm your period, and i came early."

  16. audreyann audreyann
    posted a quote
    November 1, 2010 4:07pm UTC
    I have a secret mission for those of you who just highlighted this. Here's what you have to do:
    1. Fave the quote so the helplessly confused will be wondering why a blank quote is so loved <3
    2. Comment saying something random like "I like reeses, too!"
    or "OMG, I love love love elephants!"
    or "I wish I had an I love my mom tattoo!"
    3. Yay! You're done! Let's see what happens...

  17. thatsacex3 thatsacex3
    posted a quote
    October 12, 2010 12:29pm UTC
    When guys get jealous
    it's kinda cute (':
    When girls get jealous
    World war III is about to start.

  18. BrokenSmile__ BrokenSmile__
    posted a quote
    July 8, 2010 10:05am UTC
    I want a person who
    comes into my life by accident,
    & stays on purpose.

  19. f0r3v3rm0r3x3 f0r3v3rm0r3x3
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2010 7:27pm UTC
    We met in kindergarten. We were best friends.
    She always told me she loved my eyes. I didn't quite know why.
    I was in love with her, so of course my face lit up immensely whenever she said it.
    She was beautiful, kind, and extremely funny.
    We'd be talking about nothing, and she'd turn to me and whisper,
    "I like your eyes."
    One day, I was playing basketball,
    waiting for her to drive over to my house to have a game with me.
    Suddenly, I got a phone call.
    It was her mom. She was in a panic.
    I couldn't quite understand what she was saying. It sounded like,
    "Aaron, come quick! Kelsey, accident, Main Street! Blood. Come now!"
    I had no clue what happened,
    so I ran to Main Street with my basketball shorts and a tee shirt on.
    I saw Kelsey's mom helplessly crying, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
    I saw a totaled car, blood everywhere.
    Then I saw her, Kelsey.
    My heart stopped as I frantically ran over to her.
    "Kelsey? Kelsey!" She was unconscious. I started crying.
    I know it isn't very manly, but I couldn't help it.
    Before I could say anymore, the medics took her away,
    the main source of blood coming from her head.
    I went to the hospital that night,
    I went every night.
    in fact, the only time I left was to go out to eat, but that's it.
    The doctors tried getting me to leave, but I refused.
    It was all my fault.
    If it wasn't for me, wanting to play basketball with her,
    she wouldn't be going through this.
    It was already four days, and she hasn't woken up.
    On the fifth day, I saw her eyes gently open.
    "Kelsey?" I called.
    She wasn't quite awake yet.
    Suddenly, doctors came rushing in, telling me I had to wait outside.
    I did, for a few hours.
    One of the doctors finally came out saying,
    "I understand that you're Kelsey's friend, Aaron?"
    "Yes," I whispered.
    He bit his lip.
    "She woke up, she's fine,
    but I'm afraid she has long term memory loss."
    "Are you serious?" I almost shouted.
    "I'm afraid so."
    I didn't meet his gaze. I couldn't.
    I wasn't going to say anything, so he spoke again.
    "You can go see her if you want,
    but she doesn't remember anything, not even her mom."
    I walked in, trembling in horror.
    I saw her. She looked helpless as she slept.
    I waited a few hours, until I saw her eyes opening gently again.
    I expected doctors to run in, rushing me out.
    Instead, she looked me straight in the eyes, and whispered,
    "I don't know you, but I like your eyes."

  20. sksx9 sksx9
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2009 4:48pm UTC

:)

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