Witty Profiles

myusernameis

1. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   February 8, 2014 1:58pm UTC
   Me: Bridge, are you a primadonna girl?
   Bridget: ...I don't really like Madonna.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
2. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   May 12, 2013 6:23pm UTC
   I know we fight
   And sometimes things never seem right
   But you mean the world to me
   And without you I don't know where I would be
   I love you so much Mommy
   Happy Mother's Day
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
3. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   May 8, 2013 5:42pm UTC
   Teacher: Does anybody need to go to the bathroom?
   Class: *no one answers*
   30 minutes later-
   Me: *raises hand* May I please go to the bathroom?
   Teacher: *replies angrily* I asked if anyone had to go to the bathroom 30 minutes ago! Why didn't you just go then?
   Me: My pee decides when to come, I do not decide for it. And excuse me for not being able to pee on command.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
4. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   April 23, 2013 8:08pm UTC
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   When you hit what seems like the end, when the letters get too small to even see, keep going, because they could get bigger as you
   move on
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points
5. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   April 23, 2013 8:01pm UTC
   When I drop a piece of cookie in my milk,
   I sit there
   and wonder why bad things happen to good people
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
6. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   March 13, 2013 5:43pm UTC
   *The most popular girl in my grade comes to school wearing baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt.*
   Classmates: Omg! You look so cute today! Wear did you get your sweatshirt? It is so adorable!
   *I come to school wearing baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt*
   Classmates: Somebody call animal control, there's a wild dog on the loose!
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 91 points
7. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   January 15, 2013 5:10pm UTC
   Aca-scuse me?
   Pitch Perfect :)
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 12 points
8. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   January 3, 2013 4:57pm UTC
   Now...
   My Parents: Are you doing your homework?
   Me: Yes
   *going on witty*
   My Parents: Are you cleaning your room?
   Me: Yes
   *going on witty*
   My Parents: Are you making lunch?
   Me: Yes
   *going on witty*
   Later...
   My Parents: Have you done your homework, cleaned your room, and made your lunch?
   Me: Pssht...of course I did. Don't I always?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points
9. myusernameis
   posted a quote
   December 27, 2012 4:05pm UTC
   *friend and I are trying to talk with the door SHUT*
   *someone walks in and then out without closing the door*
   friend: please shut the door.
   *another person walks in and then out without closing the door*
   friend: please shut the door.
   *and then another person walks in and then out without closing the door*
   friend: FOR THE LAST TIME SHUT THE DOOR!!!!
   me: :/
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
10. myusernameis
    posted a quote
    December 12, 2012 5:01pm UTC
    4th grade teacher: (Yelling angrily at a student) YOU DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME! WE ARE NOT EQUALS!
    Me: (Think to myself) Well, according to Martin Luther King Jr, EVERYONE is equal.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 83 points
11. myusernameis
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2012 2:28pm UTC
    It is just so sad
    when you see likes on your quotes
    get all excited
    and then realize that it was just you
    liking your own quote...
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
12. myusernameis
    posted a quote
    December 5, 2012 9:06am UTC
    But on a Wednesday, in a cafe, I watched it begin again <3
    -Taylor Swift
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
13. myusernameis
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2012 7:46pm UTC
    Is it just me...or does everyone else check their closet for monsters before going to bed?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
14. myusernameis
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2012 6:59pm UTC
    That awkward moment when you REALLLYYYY need to go to the bathroom but are to lazy to get up...
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
15. myusernameis
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2012 5:51pm UTC
    "So Freddie, what do you like to do?"
    "I dunno...burn stuff."
    -School of Rock
    I
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 24 points

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