jordface14's Favorites

dancergrl101
posted a quote
July 10, 2012 8:33pm UTC

what people on witty think 11-year-olds do:
text on their iPhones, smoke weed, have s-x, swear, and drink.
what my 11-year-old sister and her friends actually do:
play hide and seek, draw, have water fights, play with American Girl Dolls
They still exist, you know.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 904 points

XxSceneGiirlxX
posted a quote
July 10, 2012 2:08pm UTC

I don't understand why people wanna be mermaids so bad.
There's no wifi underwater.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 622 points

dearoceantown*
posted a quote
July 10, 2012 5:07pm UTC

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
1) Slow Internet.
2) When the Internet is slow.
3) When you're on the Internet, and it moves slowly.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1344 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 14, 2012 9:13pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 414 points

XsabrinaXnicole
posted a quote
June 14, 2012 7:22pm UTC

Me: Hey I just met you...
Stranger: *Walks away*
Me: NOW YOU'RE JUST
SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 371 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 14, 2012 9:42pm UTC

friend: maybe you should read the instruc-
me: NAH, I GOT THIS.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1392 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 14, 2012 8:03pm UTC

Everyone has that scary nightmare
from your childhood that you still remember

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1448 points

maslover
posted a quote
May 31, 2012 3:52pm UTC

me: I'm gonna do something productive today!
me: I'm gonna clean my room
me: And walk the dog
me: And finish my homework
me: And do the dishes
me: And study
me: And exercise
me: And feed some homeless people
me: And donate some blood
witty: no.
me: ok

👍 this is good · read the comments · 906 points

Allison13Xoxo
posted a quote
May 31, 2012 3:41pm UTC

.Gay marriage is legal in 6 states.Having sexx with a horse is legal in 23.Good going, America.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2166 points

marleesue
posted a quote
May 26, 2012 2:10pm UTC

While I was running today
I heard clapping. It was just my
thighs cheering me on.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 937 points

misshyfr
posted a quote
May 24, 2012 7:01pm UTC

IDGAF = I don`t give away food
♥♥♥♥♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 63 points

trixie0504
posted a quote
May 24, 2012 5:48pm UTC

Miley Cyrus: Nobody's Perf-
One Direction: Hello, We're One Direction!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 73 points

Litoudaki
posted a quote
May 25, 2012 6:39am UTC

Me: I finally understand math!
*moves to next question*
Me: What the hell is this

👍 this is good · read the comments · 542 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 781 points

lovestardoll423
posted a quote
May 25, 2012 9:23am UTC

nmf
. true story, this really happened:
Teacher:
Where are you going this summer!?
most people:
EGYPT, IRELAND, PARIS!!!
me:
McDonalds....

👍 this is good · read the comments · 977 points

NerdChick0108
posted a quote
May 24, 2012 6:10pm UTC

Oh, hey life. Didn't see you there behind all that school. ♥NMF

👍 this is good · read the comments · 307 points

starfhish_10
posted a quote
May 24, 2012 5:30pm UTC

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Leave room while playing a song...
Coming back, singing in your head was perfectly in sync ♥
•••••••••••

👍 this is good · read the comments · 265 points

RandomGirl42
posted a quote
May 24, 2012 8:49pm UTC

Spongebob Quote #2
Spongebob: Patrick don't you have
to go be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until 4.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 429 points

ThoughtsOfAnInvisibleGirl95
posted a quote
May 24, 2012 5:11pm UTC

New Easy Open Packaging!
Me: *tries to tear it open*
Me: -_-
Me: *tries to cut it with scissors*
Me: -__-
Me: *tries to cut it with a knife*
Me: -___-
Me: *hammer*
Me: -____-
Me: *chainsaw*
Me: -_____-
Me: *blow torch*
Me: -______-
Me: *wrecking ball*
Me: -_______-
Me: *Dynamite*
Me: AHHHHHH *throws up against wall*
Me: "MOM CAN YOU OPEN THIS?!"
Mom: *tears open*
Me: 0___________o

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1185 points

troubledmentalist
posted a quote
May 10, 2012 7:23pm UTC

I NEVER RUN WITH SCISSORS
those last two words were unecessary.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 429 points

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jordface14