The meaning behind my name means, I love my Payton Broadhurst, And, She is gone forever, and there's nothing i can do about it anymore. She gave me too many chances, Chances that i didn't even deserve. But, the love in her for me just couldn't do it anymore. She was just having a hard time with things. and although she says i don't care, and all of this and that. I reread all of her notes everynight before i go to bed. and for the past 2 nights i've been sleeping in her patrick shirt. She got me a really cute shark, and i make sure he's in my bed with me before i go to bed. but, she's not to blame for any of this. It was me the entire time. She's beautiful, and i know a lot of guys talk to her, so i'd just be that jealous boyfriend, like, Overly jealous, to the point where i would start " acting out" so i could get her attention again. None of that was the right thing to do, and i blamed everyone and everything else for my actions. When really, it was all me the entire time. That night when we were fighting really bad, i said some really harsh things to her that i will never be able to apologize for, it's going to eat me alive. And she's just going to move on to someone and be completely happy. and i have to watch her go because I did the wrong things all the time. I lost the best person to ever come into my life. And for the rest of my life i'm going to regret it. but i love her more than anything on this world.
I wrote this,
for the people who really need to think,
Charish your loved ones, because I thought she would never leave.
And, she left.
11/9/12 </3
ilovemy610