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ijijones583

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 8:16pm UTC

I actually don't mind being single at all.
-I mean I can look at any other guy without feeling ashamed of myself.
-I don't need to make any commitments, and I can talk to anyone I want to without being accused of "cheating".
-I don't need to constantly impress him.
-I'm not gonna spend half my nights crying about him when I have, other, more important things to cry about.
-I can watch whatever chick flicks I want to without being questioned.
-Who need to shave when you have pajama pants?
-I can eat whatever I want, when I want, for as long as I want.
-I can be lazy to the point where it is embarrassing and still not care.
-I can go to the beach all day and any day just to check out life guards without second thought.
-I can wear pajamas all day, like it's my job.
-No one will be there to judge while I'm dancing in my room like a moron.
-I don't have to worry about getting into meaningless fights that have absolutely no significance to our relationship.
-I don't need to worry about leaving the toilet seat up or down because it makes no difference anyway.
-My free time can be spent on the computer.
-I always get the last slice of pizza, hands down.
-And for the love of Christ, I can buy my own chocolate. I bet my boyfriend wouldn't even know my favorite flavors.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 161 points

br0kenwings
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 6:18pm UTC

Girls. It's time to fight back.
Wear whatever you fûcking want to school.
If some guy touches you and you do not want to be touched,
sucker punch him in the throat.
Fûck all these rules just for females.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 212 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 26, 2013 8:06pm UTC

Go and fix your makeup
GIRL, IT'S JUST A BREAKUP
run and hide your crazy
AND START ACTING LIKE A LADY
'Cause I raised you better
GOTTA KEEP IT TOGETHER
Even when you fall apart
BUT THIS AIN'T MY MAMA'S BROKEN HEART

👍 this is good · read the comments · 138 points

capsized*
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 9:49pm UTC

if my ceiling fan could hold my weight I’d never be bored again

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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Beautiful_Freaks
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 8:49pm UTC

When I'm Packing
Me: Let's see I need 10 pants cuz you never know how cold it'll get or if I spill something
Me: And 12 shirts, cuz i need a wide variety cuz what if i go to something fancy?
Me: and 14 tanks tops. I always wear tank tops.
Me: Well I need all of my bras, I can't just wear the same one everyday...
Me: And 300 pairs of underwear, what if i get my period?!?!
Me: Oh and 50 socks. You can never have too many socks, and what if my feet get cold?
Me: And 20 pairs of shoes. You never know where you're going.
Me: and here's my toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup, hair stuff, and purse.
Me: Yep I'm ready.
Me: WAIT I NEED MY COMPUTER
Me: AND MY HOUSE
Me: AND IRELAND
Me: AND THAT COUPON

👍 this is good · read the comments · 71 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 11:03pm UTC

Does anyone remember the old witty?
Not the really old witty, just a few years ago..
When top quotes got 1,000+ faves?
When we didn't get so p/ssed at each other?
When opinions and vents were allowed?
When quotes didnt have to be funny to get some faves?
Well, I do. Sigh.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 105 points

dreamer*
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 3:52pm UTC

me:*names child butter*
me:*accidently brings home wrong child*
me:i can't believe it's not butter.

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 6:24pm UTC

On the outside I'm all excited for Finding Dory to come out
But deep down I'm terrified that it's going to turn out like Mean Girls 2.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 371 points

w0nder1and
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 11:31pm UTC

before my nana died ;
I was sitting there next to her bed she said,
Go run, go tell him you love him, act stupid
drink a little bit, be embarassing, do all the
thing I never got to do. Just remember, I'll
be there to help you throughout everything.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 36 points

3milyMerritt
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 9:31pm UTC

The Notebook Quotes #1
Young All l i e: [ lying in the middle of the street ] "What happens if a car comes?"
Young Noah: "We die."

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 9:04pm UTC

My life is like an episode of punk'd
except nobody comes out to tell me it's all a joke and it goes on forever.

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abigaail
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 9:10pm UTC

That moment when.....
You eat food that's too hot and start breathing like a retarded dragon.

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Common Teenager*
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 9:39pm UTC

click to see this quote

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iLUV2LAUGH
posted a quote
December 21, 2012 4:39pm UTC

I PUT RED BULL IN MY COFFEE AND NOW MY HEART SOUNDS LIKE DUBSTEP
>.<

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Glamourspark1
posted a quote
December 21, 2012 4:41pm UTC

Why are scary movies always in creepy places like jails and hospitals?
I want a scary movie in Walmart.
‘Clean up on asile 13’
‘But sir...there is not asile 13...’
*DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS*

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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sayheyilyx
posted a quote
December 1, 2012 2:55pm UTC

Me everyday:
it's just not my day.

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Onism*
posted a quote
December 1, 2012 2:56pm UTC

Leaving food in front of me and telling me not to eat it
is like putting a drug addict in a room full of drugs and telling him not to take any.
Stupid.
♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

sayheyilyx
posted a quote
December 1, 2012 2:58pm UTC

Dear middle finger,
thanks for sticking up for me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 98 points

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