To all of the people i'm related to, i'm sorry that i failed to fit in with the rest of our family, i've always been the misfit, the reject. To all of my friends, i'm sorry that my advice was never good enough for you all, just know i tried to help you when you needed it, but you failed to pay any attention to my needs. To all of my teachers, i'm sorry if i have lowered your league tables, maybe if i was a better person you wouldn't have all seen me as a statistic, you would have seen me as a person. To all of the wittians, i'm sorry if i failed to be like you and bothered you with my problems.
I just want to apologise in advance; that's why i am writing you this. I'm sorry for not being the perfect daughter, friend, niece, cousin, student, grandaughter, great grandaughter and wittian. I'm sorry that i could never been good enough for anyone, not even myself. As i failed to be able to help myself, i've tried to help others, i've attempted to make them see why their lives are worth living, why they should be happy and stay on this Earth- I don't think i succeeded at making anyone happy though. I've been living with demons in my head for as long as i can remember, i used to fight them off and ignore them, but i'm afraid to say that as i've grown weaker, they have indeed grown stronger. I do in fact believe that my time is nearly up, maybe today, maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow or even next week. One day soon i'll be gone. Please do not think of me as a coward. Don't think of all the things you wish you had said to me. Don't tell me that it will get better. Just live your life without me in it. The pain is just too much now, i can't get on with a simple daily routine- i need to leave. If you understand then thank you, if you don't then forget you.
To my parents, i know i have let you down so many times, i've lost count of how many times now, but i never did anything intentionally to hurt either of you. I've made mistakes, but i'm sure you have too. We've been through a lot and survived through it all, but i don't want to go through anything else. Dad, you've never been around too much, it was probably for the best, i know i don't talk to you a lot but i do love you and always will. Mum, what can i say, you've been there for me through thick and thin, i made you cry and made you laugh, i'm sure your other children will keep you happy though. I will love you eternally.
To my closest friend, you know that i will always love you. Sometimes you made me angry, sometimes you made me happy. I know that you have been going through a rough patch, but now you're going to have to face this world by yourself- i can't keep facing it for you. I know that you can be happy, you'll get over everything that is wrong in due time. Don't give up. You are special.
To humanity, i am so terribly sorry that i could not blend in with the rest of the world properly, i was a bad person and this world would be better off without people like me in it.
To all of the people that are suffering, get help. I understand what it is like to not want to wake up in the morning, to dread the next day arriving, to not want to eat, to inflict pain upon thyself, to cry a million tears for no reason. Please, don't ever let your life get so bad that you can't see any other way out. You know you can do anything you want. You can live the life you always wanted. You can make something of yourself. For goodness sake, smile. A smile never hurt anyone.
Be happy. Keep smiling. Live life. I believe in you.
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