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funnygirl99

  1. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 11:46pm UTC
    teacher: is anyone still working on this
    one person: *raises hand*
    ~five minutes later~
    teacher: is anyone still working on this
    same person: *raises hand*
    ~ten minutes later~
    teacher: okay you're all done now right
    everyone else: yeah, we're done.
    that little sh/t: no i'm still working
    ~me: *calmy rises from seat, packs books into bag, climbs out of window, gallops down the street at a leisurely pace, hails a taxi to the airport and catches a plane to Switzerland, where i stand at the top of a mountain screaming "WHYYYYYY" into the wind*

  2. Rajsonkar Rajsonkar
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 11:15pm UTC
    making up a whole story in your head, and hoping one day it will actually happen format by rajsonkar

  3. Raining_Sunshine Raining_Sunshine
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 5:37pm UTC
    When I'm famous,
    you guys better make inspirational quotes with things I've said in them.

  4. heyworlditsme heyworlditsme
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 10:06pm UTC
    crush is coming over to my house tomorrow.
    i'm hiding EVERYTHING EMBARRASSING I OWN

  5. JustAnotherWittyGuy18 JustAnotherWittyGuy18
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 5:02pm UTC
    You've got a smile that could light up the whole town,
    Only problem is,
    We haven't seen the sun in years now.
    My Quote

  6. Marian* Marian* happy birthday!
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 1:37pm UTC
    DUDE I SAID YOU
    COULD BORROW
    MY PEN
    not eat it.

  7. bella5296 bella5296
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 7:25pm UTC
    Today, in my math class, we had nap time.
    You heard me.
    Nap Time.
    The teacher turned the lights off
    and let his class of 17 and 18 year olds take a nap.
    And then we got to eat cupcakes.
    Highlight of my senior year, right there.

  8. bunnylover43 bunnylover43
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 3:03pm UTC
    A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything." It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

  9. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 7:15pm UTC
    Senior Prom vs. Laser Tag
    Can I wear a pretty dress?
    Prom: It is expected of you
    Laser tag: Why not? Who says you can't play laser tag in a ball gown?
    Are people going to touch me?
    Prom: Yes. Most of them. Most of whom you hate.
    Laser tag: Unlikely. If they do, shoot them.
    Approximate cost?
    Prom: $100-$300 dollars at a minimum
    Laser tag: $25
    Will I feel the need to shower away my shame and rage at the end of the night?
    Prom: Yes. Yes you will.
    Laser tag: No. You must bathe only to wash away the blood of thine enemies.
    Can I pretend to be Princess Leia defending the republic?
    Prom: No. You will feel more like Slave Leia with Jabba the Hutt. Gross people touching you.
    Laser tag: Hell yeah, you can. You must avenge your home planet of Alderaan.
    Will my ears be violated by the sound of terrible music?
    Prom: So violated that your ears could file charges
    Laser tag: No. Only the sweet sound of phasers.

  10. lovecrazy lovecrazy
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 3:47pm UTC
    Plot twist: You wear your grandad's clothes, and you don't look incredible.

  11. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    February 9, 2013 8:51pm UTC
    when i was ten,
    my heart was too big for my body
    and there was this boy in my class who i hated
    because his hair was stupid and his smile was stupid
    and i couldn't speak properly when he was around.
    i found out he liked my best friend
    and that made me feel a bit hollow inside
    so i crinkled my nose and hated him more
    even when he tried to talk to me.
    (have you ever hated someone that way?)
    when i was eleven
    our teacher sat us next to each other in class.
    we laughed at everything with our eyes
    and everyone else got annoyed
    i'd lie in bed texting him until i fell asleep
    (his hair was still stupid.)
    when i was twelve,
    i was freefalling into destruction,
    but he could still make me smile
    even when it hurt my heart to do it.
    my dad was dying and my skin was scarred,
    but he told stupid jokes that made it go away.
    (maybe i dotted the i in his name with a heart.)
    when i was thirteen,
    we only had one class together,
    but we sat together every single lesson
    and drew on each others' hands
    and the teacher thought we were dating.
    i liked another guy for most of that year.
    (i never told anyone that i liked the first boy, too.)
    when i was fourteen,
    i dated a tall guy who i didn't like
    because i didn't want to admit that maybe i was in love with my best friend,
    who made fun of my boyfriend mercilessly.
    i dumped him, but i never told him why.
    i'm almost fifteen,
    and my heart is still too big for my body.
    these are all the things i'll never tell him.

  12. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    February 12, 2013 10:56pm UTC
    For English homework, I have to write a fable (a story with a message.) Could you guys read it and then comment what you think the moral of the story is?
    Two camels were crossing the desert, each with a heavy load on their back. After a few miles of this, one of the camels decided that surely the load on his back was much heavier than the one the other camel carried, and it was only fair to even it out. "Could you carry these for me?" he asked, passing the second camel a bag. The second camel agreed, and placed it on his back. After a few minutes, the first camel still felt that he was carrying too much weight. "Could you carry these for me, too?" he asked, and once again, the second camel agreed. This continued for many more miles, with the first camel finding the journey easier and easier, while the second camel sunk into the sand more and more with every step he took. Eventually, the first camel glanced at his own back, and saw that he had given away all of his load to the other camel, but when he offered to take some of it back, there was no reply. He looked for his companion, only to find that the second camel had been so weighed down that he had sunken completely into the sand, leaving all the bags for the first camel to carry along.
    thoughts?

  13. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    February 18, 2013 11:59pm UTC
    people who say that using a tampon is like "having s/ex with yourself" just make me want to throw myself off a cliff and backflip away into the sunset, because oh my god s/ex is not just the act of putting something inside you, s/ex is a whole lot of emotions and sensations and a mutual bond with another person and if you're feeling like that when you put a tampon in i think we have a problem.

  14. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2013 12:26am UTC
    top ten tips to stop ra/pe:
    1) don't put drugs in womens' drinks
    2) when you see a woman by herself, leave her alone
    3) if you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to ra/pe her.
    4) if you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don't ra/pe her.
    5) if your girlfriend says no, then you stop.
    6) use the buddy system! if you're unable to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you and stop you.
    7) don't forget: it's not se/x with someone who's asleep, unconscious, underage, or has not given consent: it's RA/PE!
    8) carry a whistle! if you're afraid you might assault someone by accident, hand the whistle to them so they can alert the police.
    9) honesty is the best policy. if you know you are going to have se/x with the woman you are dating regardless of how she feels about it, you should let her know that you are probably going to ra/pe her so she can get the hell out of the relationship, you a/ss/hole.
    10) d o . n o t . r a p e.

  15. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2013 11:35pm UTC
    today, i read something that fascinated me. i was looking up stuff about the afterlife, and what people believe in, and apparently there is a theory that there is no life before death or after death, but we are all stuck in a time loop. basically, we always exist, forever, but just in our own timeline. we are born, we live our life the exact same way every time, and then we die, and are born again with no memory of living this life before, because memories are stored in brain cells, so when we die, they die too. it's not reincarnation, it's just us, over and over and over again. idk, i thought it was interesting; for some people, it's heaven, for others, it's hell.

  16. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2013 10:21pm UTC
    i believe that
    marriage
    isn't between a
    man and
    a woman.
    marriage
    is between
    love and love
    f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

  17. melonpants13 melonpants13
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2013 6:41pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  18. bunnylover43 bunnylover43
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2013 4:54pm UTC
    Joke of The Moment #6
    An old man was sitting on a bench
    at the mall. A young man walked up
    to the bench and sat down. He had
    Spiked hair in all different colors:
    green, red, orange, blue and yellow.
    The old man just stared.
    Everytime the young man looked
    The old man was staring.
    The yound man then finally said sarcastically:
    " What's the matter old timer, never done
    anything wild in your life?"
    Without batting an eye, the old man
    the replied,
    "Got drunk and had s/ex with a peacock.
    I was just wondering if you were my son."
    f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

  19. roseth0rn roseth0rn
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2013 3:55pm UTC
    dwayne johnson, paper, scissors

  20. Soccerfata Soccerfata
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2013 6:47pm UTC
    So I get home and there's this random guy on my couch and he's like "Alright, I don't want to hurt you. Just put your stuff down and get on the ground. I just want your money." And I almost had a heart attack. I was like, "OMG, please no I don't have any money. I'm too young to die." Then he was like, "Nah man, I'm just messin with you. I'm your brothers friend. He's in the shower, I'm just waiting for him."
    That guy is a genius....

:)

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