Witty Profiles

Tori-bird *

1. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 9, 2013 8:27pm UTC
   I wish I had speakers built inside my shower
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 19 points
2. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 9, 2013 4:57pm UTC
   i've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that i'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points
3. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 8, 2013 11:49am UTC
   *runs for 10 minutes*
   me: am I skinny yet?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points
4. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 8, 2013 11:42am UTC
   i like wearing big sweaters. Not cause they're all comfy & cuddly, but when the sleeves are really big i get to flop them around & smack people
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
5. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 8, 2013 11:37am UTC
   Sarcasm should be awarded a nobel peace prize. It's been my useful alternative to punching idiots in the face most of my adult life.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
6. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 6, 2013 11:26am UTC
   When my friends are sad, l send them a long paragraph, but when l'm sad, they only say "oh sorry" or "well that sucks".
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
7. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 6, 2013 11:22am UTC
   if you knew me in middle school..... I'm sorry... im so sorry
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
8. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 6, 2013 11:20am UTC
   when guys say how gross periods are i just laugh cause guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard & that's pretty freaking weird, bucko.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
9. Tori-bird *
   posted a quote
   August 6, 2013 11:18am UTC
   calling your parents by their first names because you’re sassy and cannot be tamed
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
10. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 10:46am UTC
    : i dont understand people who only sleep with one pillow
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
11. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 10:41am UTC
    does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 170 points
12. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 10:37am UTC
    my parents never even gave me the se.x talk they just sent me to public school
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points
13. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 10:34am UTC
    My taste in music ranges from “you need to listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
14. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 10:02am UTC
    why do periods have to last an entire week? after an hour I'm sure I'm not pregnant so let’s just move on now.. all that is just unnecessary
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
15. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 4, 2013 8:33pm UTC
    Draco Malfoy attended Fred Wesley's funeral.
    He stood in the far back, careful not to be seen.
    After he thought everyone had left, he ligered a bit.
    He'd never let on that he secretly thought the twins were funny,
    and that he was truly sorry he'd been part of the reason that Fred died.
    He felt that way in regards to everyone that had been hurt and lost
    in the war, but he could only get the courage to go to Fred's funeral.
    Draco would never tell anyone that he was there.
    And George would never tell anyone that he saw him cry,
    apologizing to a headstone
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 13 points
16. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 4, 2013 8:28pm UTC
    One day, Albus Severus was roaming the castle when he came across a protrait of a hook-nosed, greasy
    haired man who woar all black.
    "So, you must be Poters spawn, eh?" Snape sneered.
    "I'm sorry if my brother James ever bothers you. I'm Albus. Albus Severus." Alus said.
    Snape looked down into Albus's eyes -the green eyes- Lilly Potter once had.
    For the first time in a long time, Snape smiled. A true smile.
    "And I'm Severus Snape"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
17. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 4, 2013 8:22pm UTC
    did you know that 10 million pounds of maple syrup was stolen from Quebec?
    10 million pounds!!
    1/3 of the governmet's reserve.
    like how do you even steal 10 million pounds of maple syrup?? where do you hide it??
    what woukd you even do with it??
    but the one thing that i would like to know:
    why does the Canadian government even have a maple syrup reserve?!
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 20 points
18. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    August 1, 2013 4:48pm UTC
    five facts about reading:
    fact one: reading can make you better at conversations
    fact two: neighbors will nevercomplain that your book is too loud
    fact three: knowledge by osmosis has not yet been perfected. You'd better read.
    fact four: books mhave stopped bullets- reading can save your life!
    fact five: dinosaurs didn't read. look what happened to them.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
19. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 6:55pm UTC
    what if the tent in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
    is Barty Crouch Jr.'s T.A.R.D.I.S
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
20. Tori-bird *
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 6:50pm UTC
    I hate the term fangirl.
    it makes me think of an attractive, cute, giggly teenage
    girl who flaps her hands a lot.
    that is not who we are.
    we are fanwarriors
    motherfu.ker
    we give our lives to T.V. shows
    and books and celebrities.
    we cry over them
    we write fan fiction to them
    we are freaking STRONG
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points

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