I have chronic depression. I know it. My friends know it. But my family doesn't. I don't cut myself or anything like that. But when I do get depressed I sit in my room. And I cry. I just cry until I'm all out of tears, until there is nothing left in me except for hate. Hate for myself, I wanna know why I'm not the prettiest, or the thinnest, or the most popular. And I finally got up the courage. I asked one of my closest guy friends. And he didn't hold anything back. I was told I was transparent, insecure, annoying, oh and my personal favorite easily manipulated. I cried, I cried until I fell asleep. I questioned. I questioned why I was still breathing. Why do I want to be alive when no one really cares for me? When I'm too annoying and easily manipulated?! I hate my life enough. But I needed to hear that. It solidified my hatred of myself. I almost killed myself last year. I didn't attempt. But boy. DId I wish. I was to the point in my life where I couldn't talk without crying. I tried to starve myself but, my friends wouldn't let me. They made sure I was always breathing and eating. I can't thank them enough. But now. Are you wondering why I wrote this? I wrote this to prove one point. You are a kind person. If you at any point during this said "don't do that" "you are perfectly fine" "don't try and change" or anything like that. You are a good person. And the world needs you. Just because I'm still depressed and still finding myself doesn't mean you should be. Your life is precious. You can't be replaced. And you clearly have a big heart. You just started to care for me. Even though you don't know me. Now, even if you didn't you read this to the end. And I thank you for that. Just always remember. YOU are important. And some days you do just need to sit and cry. You need to sit, and think to yourself why you don't like yourself, but once you've done that. Pick your head up, because if you die. SOMEONE will care. And, if you need someone to talk to email me: crazykt01@gmail.com I'll help you the best I can and even if I can't help I'll be a friend to you. And sometimes, that's all you need. So thank you for reading this. For listening to my vent, thanks for reading the beginning of my pain. For that I LOVE YOU
crazykt01