canyouhandlemenow's Favorites

spence*
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 12:44pm UTC

people without passwords on their phones are the strongest and most terrifying people you will ever meet

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*silvergirl*
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 5:52pm UTC

So apparently it's inappropriate to sneak a jar of pickles into highschool exams and eat them.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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KayleighJean
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 8:59pm UTC

Why can't girls be born with hairless legs?
Let the guys have all the hair.

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*crybaby*
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 6:38pm UTC

extreme makeover: home edition
girl: i kinda like horses
ty: WE MADE YOUR ROOM INTO A HORSE AND DECORATED IT WITH HORSES AND HERE WE GOT YOU 3 PET HORSES AND WE ARE PAYING FOR SURGERY TO MAKE YOU A HORSE

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 40 points

Steve*
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 7:29pm UTC

i see you driving round town with the girl i love and im
like “what are you doing with my mom”

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 48 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 7:15pm UTC

Someone in my art appreciation class told me that I was really nice but also "extremely odd" and I have no clue how to take this.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 32 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 7:25pm UTC

Cameron: You're always mad.
Cameron: Is it because you looked in a mirror?

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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Jordan.*
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 8:51pm UTC

Sometimes
the people
around
you won't
understand
your journey.
They don't
need to,
it's not for
them.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 66 points

† *
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 6:11pm UTC

If you think patience is a virtue,
try surfing the internet without highspeed connection.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 49 points

*silvergirl*
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 7:46pm UTC

My life is like a romantic comedy except there is no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes

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† *
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 7:49pm UTC

He who laughs last,
didn't get the f/cking joke.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 87 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
January 22, 2014 6:27pm UTC

Mom: Are you doing homework up there?
Me: Of course!
Mom: Good.
Me: *Laughs as I fave another quote on Witty*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 143 points

Jordan.*
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 4:58pm UTC

Hearts are wild creatures,
that's why our ribs are cages.

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Jasmine❤😘*
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 5:19pm UTC

A shot to kill the pain; a pill to drain the shame; a purge to stop the gain; a cut to break the vein; a smoke to ease the crave;a drink to win the game; an addictions an addiction because it always hurts the same.

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★♡flying high♥☆*
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 5:22pm UTC

Plot twist: tumblr posts are taken from witty.

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mads*
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 5:55pm UTC

i just had a dream that macklemore was at my house and he told me that
he'd spent all the money he made from Thrift Shop and couldn't buy food
and i said "aw do you need some snacklemore" and he punched me in
my face

👍 this is good · read the comments · 33 points

*crybaby*
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 5:52pm UTC

i pull weird faces in photos because it's better to look ugly on purpose

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

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