Witty Profiles

beachxxbum

1. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   September 8, 2012 6:07pm UTC
   One Direction Gangster Version
   Shawty you light up my weed like no other b.tch,
   the way that you shake dat a** make me glad as sh/t.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 315 points
2. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   September 7, 2012 9:41pm UTC
   Friend: What would you do if you saw Harry Styles randomly on the street? :) x
   Me: I'd run up to him while screaming
   "OH MY GOD YOU'RE THAT KID FROM WHITE ESKIMO"
   and then I'd tackle him and then whisper in his ear,
   "I blog about you, nipple boy"
   Before stroking his face and disappearing into the night faster
   than you can say 'Restraining Order'.
   Mq
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points
3. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   August 20, 2012 1:56pm UTC
   Sometimes I wish I wasn't that kind of person who cares so deeply about others...
   Maybe then, if they hurt me I wouldn't feel so bad..</3
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
4. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   August 19, 2012 7:30pm UTC
   I hate it when:
   I'm trying to encourage someone by saying: "The sky's the limit...!"
   and they're just like: "Don't tell me, the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon."
   Mmkay, so you tryna be cute? Well B.TCH, explain to me, WHEN did the moon all of a sudden become the SKY.
   It might be IN the sky, but it AINT. THE. SKY.
   I mean b.tch REALLY? Is there not sky ALL AROUND THE MOON. Way ABOVE the moon? Like think before you speak so you don't sound like some dumba$$ fake sass retarted b.tch, alright baby face?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
5. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   August 19, 2012 7:12pm UTC
   Wh0re: *singing* I. Am not. A wh0re.
   Me: Sweety there's no need to lie to us.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
6. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   August 19, 2012 6:20pm UTC
   Harry: " I used to work in a bakery..."
   Me: F*CK YOU PEETA! #TEAMHARRY
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 45 points
7. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   April 21, 2012 2:04pm UTC
   Justin Bieber is just digging this hole deeper and deeper releasing a song called 'Boyfriend' when half of the world thinks you're gay already.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 18 points
8. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   April 20, 2012 6:08pm UTC
   Alarm Clocks...
   'Cuz everyone loves waking up with a heart attack.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 468 points
9. beachxxbum
   posted a quote
   April 20, 2012 3:57pm UTC
   Boy: Hey...look at the keybord where it says U and I :)
   Girl: Aww! That's so sweet! what about it ;)
   Boy: Now look under it
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points
10. beachxxbum
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2012 2:08pm UTC
    --See that boy doing his homework in homeroom?...He couldn't do it last night because he was too busy talking his friend out of doing suicide.
    --See that girl, with her face caked in makeup?...She's bullied and needs to feel beautiful.
    --See him, the one who wears long sleeved shirts everyday?... He covers his arms to hide the scars.
    --See her, with the cheap hand-me-down clothes?...Her family can't afford food for half a month, let alone get Brand names.
    --See the girl who laughs at every little thing?...She cries herself to sleep every night.
    --See the girl with the little waist?... She goes to the bathroom and forces herslef to throw up to keep her waist that way.
    --See that girl over there, the dark circles under her eyes?...She has Insomnia and she fears what she will see in her dreams.
    --See that boy daydreaming over there?...He has Schizophrenia.
    --See the girl that everyone goes to for advice?...She wishes that someone would do the same for her.
    --See the boy over there biting his nails?...He has cancer and is wondering how much time he has left.
    Don't Judge People
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
11. beachxxbum
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2012 1:42pm UTC
    Haters are like crickets. Crickets make alot of noise, you hear it but can't see them. Then right when you walk past them, they're quiet.....
    And that's when you realize you've stepped on 'em ;).
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
12. beachxxbum
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2012 1:37pm UTC
    If you say "Beer Can" with a British accent...
    Then you're saying "Bacon" with a Jamaican accent ;P
    -------
    Fav is you tried :)...try it both ways ;P
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
13. beachxxbum
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2012 10:02am UTC
    Kid: Dad, I want to marry my Grandmother.
    Dad: Hey, She's MY mother.
    Kid: Then why are you married to MY mother?? :P
    ---------------------------------
    haha. Smart kid ;P
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points
14. beachxxbum
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2012 9:43am UTC
    FOOD:
    When someone takes a normal person's food:
    Person: Okay :(
    When someone takes my food:
    Me: WTF! GIVE MY FRICKING FOOD BACK BEFORE I RIP YOUR GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS OFF! >:O
    --------------------------------------
    Fav if that's you too x)
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 14 points

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