Witty Profiles

Red dragon*

1. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   December 2, 2013 1:42pm UTC
   Am I the only person who doesn't know why the chicken crossed the road.
   
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2. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   December 2, 2013 1:23pm UTC
   Pushing at the back of your wardrobe, just in case you stumble upon..........NARNIA.
   
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3. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2013 3:57pm UTC
   you can always trust aliens when they say "we come in peace"
   
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4. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2013 3:38pm UTC
   You can always trust aliens when they say "we come in peace"
   
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5. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   July 28, 2013 4:31pm UTC
   Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
6. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   July 28, 2013 4:28pm UTC
   The awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and walks straight past you.
   
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7. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   July 28, 2013 1:33pm UTC
   Do you ever feel pressure to play good music when people are in your car?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
8. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   July 28, 2013 1:27pm UTC
   –^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death
   
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9. Red dragon*
   posted a quote
   July 28, 2013 1:25pm UTC
   Tell someone, "You wore that shirt the day after yesterday" and see how long it takes them to get it.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
10. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 1:22pm UTC
    I love it when people call me at 3 AM. "Hey, are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."
    
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11. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 1:20pm UTC
    Stu(dying)
    Stu(died)
    Coincidence? I think not.
    
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12. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 1:18pm UTC
    Things I didn't learn in high school...
    how to pay bills
    buy a house
    apply for college
    but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
13. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 1:16pm UTC
    Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" is a clever person.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
14. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 1:12pm UTC
    The best feeling when you wake up at 5am and realize you still have more hours to sleep..
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
15. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 12:01pm UTC
    No one is perfect thats why pencils have erasers
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
16. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 11:35am UTC
    My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
17. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 11:01am UTC
    I have a friend called called fhillip, he got his lip removed now we call him fhill.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
18. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 10:56am UTC
    I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
19. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 9:46am UTC
    “I intend to live forever.
    So far, so good.”
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
20. Red dragon*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 9:09am UTC
    ”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong but you keep arguing anyway"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

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