Witty Profiles

SirScotchShots

1. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 26, 2010 11:54pm UTC
   When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
2. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 26, 2010 11:45pm UTC
   Everyone is entitled to their own Òpinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
3. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 26, 2010 11:42pm UTC
   When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. :(
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
4. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 19, 2010 4:05pm UTC
   I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
5. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 19, 2010 4:03pm UTC
   I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
6. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 19, 2010 3:58pm UTC
   I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
7. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 18, 2010 12:41am UTC
   A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
8. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 17, 2010 12:43pm UTC
   Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
9. SirScotchShots
   posted a quote
   January 17, 2010 12:40pm UTC
   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
10. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2010 12:13am UTC
    Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
11. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2010 12:10am UTC
    Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. :P
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 3 points
12. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2010 12:09am UTC
    They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 3 points
13. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2010 12:04am UTC
    I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 1 point
14. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 16, 2010 11:56pm UTC
    Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 2 points
15. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 16, 2010 11:54pm UTC
    I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 3 points
16. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 16, 2010 11:52pm UTC
    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points
17. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 16, 2010 11:47pm UTC
    If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. sorry :(
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points
18. SirScotchShots
    posted a quote
    January 16, 2010 11:40pm UTC
    I believe that if a man with feet does not have shoes, and a man without feet has shoes.... then that man has the right to steal the other mans shoes :)
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 2 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles