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Singer32100

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 1:16pm UTC

she didn't get it
friend: hey do you have any crackers
me: no
me: we're crackalackin'
please tell me you do
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · read the comments · 496 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 12:12pm UTC

• hear noises
• pause music
• complete silence
• play music
• hear noises again
o _ o
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · read the comments · 414 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 12:13pm UTC

i was in line at target
just trying to buy some
ice cream and this
baby was screaming its soul out.
Anyways, the mom turned
around and looked
me straight in the eyes with the
most monotone voice and said
“birth control….
Use birth control…”
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · read the comments · 936 points

wuvyouboo
posted a quote
January 22, 2013 6:44pm UTC

THE SAD PART IS
when you finally let someone have you,
they stop doing what it took to get you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 268 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 19, 2013 4:42pm UTC

Part of me
wanted to confront him and
demand to know everything.
While I was lying in my bed,
I had imagined what I would say.
But I knew myself too well to think
I would really have the guts
to do it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 279 points

Delicate*
posted a quote
January 20, 2013 6:39pm UTC

So last night, I was texting the guy I like.
The conversation went something like this
Me: They're crazy (my friends) Save me!
Him: Okay. I'll be Superman and you can be my Lois Lane.
Me: D'Aww.
Him: Cutie
Me: You're adorable
Him: You're cuter
Me: Nope. You're cuter
Us: *Proceed to argue about who's cuter for five minutes*
Guys, the guy I like, likes me back. Something is wrong.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 289 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 4:19pm UTC

If I could explain love in one word,
it would have to be trust.
Trust that he doesn’t cheat on you,
trust that he doesn’t lie to  you,
trust that he really likes you,
trust that he will always be  there for you,
trust that he can go to a party and not get high  or drunk,
trust that you don’t have to worry
about him breaking  up with you the second you wake up,
trust that he will stick up  for you,
trust that he will never fall in love with another girl, 
trust that he won’t just get sick of you,
and trust that he  wants you like you want him

👍 this is good · read the comments · 305 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 3:58pm UTC

Trying
to make someone fall in love with you
is about as pointless as
trying to control who you fall in love with.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 297 points

taylorday7
posted a quote
January 17, 2013 8:59pm UTC

Last night at Texas Roadhouse while I was working a little old man comes up to me.
I ask: "how many?"
And he goes: "Just one old geezer and the most beautiful woman in the world."
An old woman comes hobbling in on a cane after him and he goes: "Look at her. 50 years of marriage and she still takes my breath away."
I want that someday.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 374 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 22, 2013 4:25pm UTC

I don't think anyone
really understands
how much compliments actually mean to me
like I usually brush them off with a joke
and a quick “thank you” ,
but really I remember compliments for forever
so if you’ve ever complimented me
or done something nice for me
thank you so much.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 428 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 22, 2013 4:36pm UTC

Have you ever
talked to someone and it was obvious
they didn’t want to have a conversation with you
so then you felt useless and really bad about yourself
and your mood dropped drastically
and then you feel even worse
because of how stupid it is that a person
has that much impact
on your day?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 485 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 20, 2013 4:14pm UTC

I’m the girl who’s never
been given a chance,
the girls who’s always been single,
who’s always had a crush on a guy that didn’t care.
I’m the girl who hides her feelings,
the girl who doesn’t know how to flirt,
who’s always lying when the tears are falling.
I’m the girl who wonders what’s wrong with her,
who’s always thinking about what could have been.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 631 points

Andreaxoxo
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 5:47pm UTC

1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, and I don't see how any of this has to do with me not being able to get a boyfriend.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 196 points

lillybeth7
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 1:05pm UTC

Me: *drops phone* Headphones: I got you bro .

👍 this is good · read the comments · 115 points

dolph*
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 4:08pm UTC

Haven't you noticed this on TV:
Person 1: *One sneeze*
Person 2: Omg are you getting sick?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 163 points

Cammie
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 6:20pm UTC

So, I was walking down the street when I saw a guy and girl. I am pretty sure they were a couple or on a date...
Anyways, the guy kept putting his arm around her and trying to hold her hand. The girl didn't seem that into him, but did hold his hand and stuff. He could tell the girl didn't really like him or was weirded out by something. Wanna know why?
He. Had. A. Poop. Stain. On. The. Back. Of. His. Pants.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 234 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 7:45pm UTC

What school has taught me:
- I hate everyone and everything
- People are complete idiots
- I have anger issues
- I'm smarter than everyone
- I'm better off digging a hole, sitting in it and choking to death on my own spit

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 419 points

wuvyouboo
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 9:15pm UTC

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes
and someone asks for 2, how many do you
have left?
Me: 10
Teacher: If somebody forcibly takes 2 of
the cakes, how many would you have left
then?
Me: 10 and a dead body.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 397 points

Loopy23
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 2:29pm UTC

Friend 1: Whats the saddest film you've ever watched?
Friend 2: Titanic, obviously.. You?
Friend 1: The Notebook!
Me: Don't you guys have a heart? Toy Story 3 is the saddest film I've ever seen!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 216 points

Eli22b
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 7:48pm UTC

*At the eye doctor trying on glasses*
Me: but moooommmm these ones make me look like a nerd!!!
Mom: You are a nerd!!
Me: no, I'm a geek, there's a difference.
Guy next to us: *bursts out laughing*
true story

👍 this is good · read the comments · 457 points

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