Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

NinaxHoran

  1. hermione23katniss hermione23katniss
    posted a quote
    June 17, 2012 3:13pm UTC
    Friend 1: Omg my boyfriend sent me the cutest message ever about how much he loves me!
    Friend 2: Omg the guy I like sent me a message about how beautiful he thinks I am!
    Me: Sometimes people on witty fave my quotes. It's very touching.

  2. k4sper k4sper
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2012 1:35pm UTC
    *My older sister comes into the house, into the living room where I'm sitting with my dad and brothers, wearing a weird hat that her friend apparently dared her to wear*
    Me: What's that? O_o
    My older sister: A hat.
    My dad: ... CRAZY FUNKY JUNKY HAT!
    My older brother: Overslept, hair unsightly-
    My younger brother: - tryna' look like Keira Knightley!
    My older brother: We've been there, we've done that-
    My dad: *Points dramatically at my older sister* WE SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR FUNKY HAT!
    This actually just happened... Oh my god, I live with a bunch of freaks.

  3. AwesomeUsername AwesomeUsername
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2012 9:06pm UTC
    My guy friend almost got into a fight at Wal-Mart 'cause this kid thought he was funny in front of his friends:
    Kid: Nice V-neck. Looks like my sister's.
    My friend: Oh, I'm sorry. Must've put on the wrong shirt after I f/cked her.

  4. Infinity on high* Infinity on high*
    posted a quote
    August 4, 2012 11:13pm UTC
    i saw a photo taken of a boy's facebook page- (he was probably about, 18-20.)
    Another boy had commented, he said,
    "your girlfriend is HOT."
    This is how the boy replied:
    "My girlfriend is 'hot?' My girlfriend is 'hot?' You have the entire english language with it's vast spectrum of adjectives to descibe my girl friend, and you settle for 'hot?!'
    My girlfriend is far beyond beautiful. My girlfriend is enamoring, enrapturing, captivating, ravishing, lovely, incredible, overwhelming, adorable, alluring, enticing and radiant. She's a stunner- she'll take your breath away before you have the hcance to introduce yourself. Her eyes constantly shine with joy, even in the midst of pain or sadness. She's a fireball that i can barely handle, but i can tell you that you wouldn't stand a chance. She has a mind that can tear yours to shreds, considering the one you chose to describe her with is 'hot.'
    Don't ever degrade my girlfriend like that again."
    ^^ that's what he said, word for word. wow.

  5. xHello xHello
    posted a quote
    July 16, 2012 3:10pm UTC
    Parent: Wear a jacket over your halloween costume
    Child: .....

  6. JustAnotherWittyGuy JustAnotherWittyGuy
    posted a quote
    July 22, 2012 5:39pm UTC
    THIS IS FOR THE GIRLS
    Who don't have a guy to tell them how beautiful they really are.

  7. littleleftofthemiddle littleleftofthemiddle
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2012 7:06pm UTC
    Website: did you know that the more attracted you are to a person, the easier it is for
    that individual to make you laugh?
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: is that why i laugh at my own jokes

  8. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    July 15, 2012 10:18pm UTC
    A faithful husband was drunk at a party; he didn’t know what was happening around him. When he arrived home, he went straight to bed and slept. When morning came, he was amazed. Everything in his room was in order, and a tablet of aspirin and a glass of water were on his bedside table with a note saying, “Good morning honey, I have to buy groceries but I'll be back for dinner. Have your breakfast! Love you!” from his wife. He wondered why his wife didn't seem to be angry at him, even though he was so drunk last night. He asked his son, “What happened last night? I got drunker than I meant to, your mom should be angry!” The son replied “When mom got home, you were still drunk and you were lying on the bed in your dirty clothes. She tried to undress you, but you said,'Stop, I'm married.’"
    I found this on tumblr, but it made me smile like an idiot (:

  9. sunnynicky sunnynicky
    posted a quote
    July 24, 2012 12:05am UTC
    ♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥
    My dentist told me once
    that letting go is like pulling a tooth. When it was pulled out, you’re relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it was not hurting you doesn’t mean you did not notice it. It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take a while, but it takes time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you so much pain. Therefore, move on and let go.
    ♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥
    Format by twilightgirl995

  10. Buki Buki
    posted a quote
    July 6, 2012 3:05pm UTC
    So I got al l dressed up, was looking alright.
    My mom asked me where I was going. My sad, sad reply. . .
    "To the bathroom, I need a new profile picture."

  11. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    August 21, 2012 5:29pm UTC
    shout out to pixar
    for making bloopers for animated films.

  12. 伤* 伤*
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2012 1:06pm UTC
    In a interview
    Selena gomez said "i only like zayn in one direction."
    In another
    interview harry said "i only like justin bieber in jelena."
    NMF/Quote by OneDirection

  13. LandonIsWitty LandonIsWitty
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 7:34pm UTC
    Me in the shower:
    Me: *turns water on*
    Me: *grabs phone*
    Me: *sits in the bathroom on witty for 7 minutes*
    Me: *checks time*
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: oh chiz
    Me: *gets in shower*
    Me: HOLY JEEEEZEZ OHMYGAWWWSH MY FOOT IS BURNING LIKE SHAWTY ON THE DANCE FLOOR
    Me: *jumps out and turns hot water down*
    Me: ahh, this'll be better
    Me: *steps in shower once again*
    Me: COLD COLD COLD ASDFGHJKL ITS SO COLD IS THIS FUUCKING ANTARCTICA OW OW OW OW OWWWW
    Me: *turns hot water up a teeeeeeeeeeny tiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit*
    Me: okay, this will work.
    Me: holy crap it actually worked
    Me: ahhhhhhhhhhhh
    Me: NEVERMIND I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOOOUUUUU!
    Me: ok seriously, gotta get clean
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: oh right, soap.
    Me: *scrubbing arms and legs*
    Me: omg wtf why am i so hairy
    Me: lol jk, i'm a dude of course i'm hairy!
    Me: *washes hair*
    Me: *washes face*
    Me: *drops shampoo*
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: my family probably thinks i'm dead
    Me: better make sure they know I'm alive
    Me: I'M SLIM SHADY YES I'M DA REAL SHADY, ALL YOU OTHAA SOMETHIN SOMETHIN ARE JUST IMATATINN
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: guess i better get out now..
    Me: *turns off water and gets out*
    Me: *realizes i forgot to get a towel*
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: *sprints naked to the hall closet and blindly grabs nearest bath towel*
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: shh that never happened
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: *sits on bed in only a towel making quote about taking a shower*
    lol my quote & format! should i keep making these kinds of quotes?(:

  14. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2012 10:36pm UTC
    imagine if we're all still on witty in 70 years...
    "just got another new cat..... YOLO."
    "bought adele's new album, 91 today..."
    "can i please have 84 faves for my 84th birthday? (:"
    "ONE DIRECTION SIGNED MY WALKING STICK"

  15. never_forget never_forget
    posted a quote
    August 2, 2012 7:39pm UTC
    **When My Name's In A Math Problem**
    Class: *Stares At Me*
    Me: That's Right B*tches. I Bought 60 Watermelons.

  16. J3S5E J3S5E
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2012 12:03pm UTC
    Barney turned into JerseyShore
    GameBoy turned into Facebook
    PictnoChat turned into Texting
    Coloring turned into LoveLetters
    HelloKitty turned into Ke$ha
    Nightlights turned into iPod-brightness
    AmericanGirl turned into SeventeenMagazine
    TheChildrensPlace turned into VictroriaSecret
    Skechers turned into Sperrys
    EarRings turned into BellyButtonRings
    Cooties turned into Kisses
    Playdates turned into Hangouts
    Cinderella turned into MeanGirls
    JuicyJuice turned into Monster
    RainCoats turned into TubeTops
    SweatPants turned into Yogas
    StudEarings turned into HugeHoops
    Webkinz turned into Tumblr
    Braids turned into Straighteners
    FullHouse turned into Degrassi
    CampRock turned into OneDirection
    Jokes turned into Bullying
    BedTimes turned into Curfues
    Like turned into Love
    But worst of all,
    Drake&Josh turned into Bucket&Skinner
    Where has our childhood gone?
    -90's kids♥

  17. Andreaxoxo Andreaxoxo
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2012 3:02pm UTC
    I'm team Jacob.
    Why? because I know what it's like to love someone and they don't love you back.

  18. andreapicii andreapicii
    posted a quote
    July 18, 2012 5:22pm UTC
    I WAS HUNGRY SO I BOUGHT SOME ANIMAL CRACKERS AT TARGET.
    Cashier guy: Ok that will be 1.39
    Me: Uh can I get a bag too please?
    Cashier guy: *Gives me a weird look but hands me a small bag*
    Me: Thank you I think people might look at me funny if they see me walking around the mall with animal crackers you know
    Cashier guy: What just be like "YEAH I LIKE ANIMAL CRACKERS AND WHAT"
    Cashier guy (As I'm leaving): DON'T LET THE HATERS BRING YOU DOWN YOU EAT THOSE ANIMAL CRACKERS GIRL!
    Tumblr

  19. PainOfAPoet* PainOfAPoet*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 8:03pm UTC
    DRUNKEN DADDY
    mine...please dont take?
    You sit in your room,
    Trying not to make a sound.
    Daddy’s just downstairs,
    And mommy’s not around.
    You’ve smelt it all night,
    His Bud Wiser beer.
    That smell has defined your whole life,
    And has made you live in fear.
    You hear a creak,
    And then a thump.
    Then a pound on your door,
    Makes you jump.
    You pull your legs close,
    And quick leap to the bed.
    You’re supposed to be asleep,
    If he catches you awake your dead.
    You shut your eyes,
    Just as the door flies open.
    The light flashes on,
    And all that’s left is hoping.
    Maybe he won’t see that fact,
    That though you’re slowly breathing.
    The rise and fall of your chest,
    Is incredibly uneven.
    You can hear the shuffle,
    Of his disoriented feet.
    You hear him stumble,
    And feel him grab your sheet.
    He pulls it down,
    As he crashes to the floor.
    You hear him mutter something,
    About how he’s going to be sore.
    You keep your breath soft,
    And keep your eyes shut tight.
    Your body tenses up,
    And your lip you bite.
    Daddy stand up,
    And grabs your arm.
    You hope he’s not drunk enough,
    To do much harm.
    Your stomach sinks,
    As he picks you up.
    He throws you across the room,
    The wall makes you stop so abrupt.
    You land to the floor,
    With a soft thud.
    You lift your head,
    And you can see all the blood.
    Daddy smiles,
    And takes a step towards you.
    You flinch and he grins,
    You don’t know what he’ll do.
    The blood just keeps spilling,
    As you two stare.
    Your life is slipping away,
    Of this you’re aware.
    Then he lunges,
    His hands reaching for your throat.
    He squeezes his finger tightly,
    And you begin to choke.
    Blood trickles down your forehead,
    And onto our dad.
    He wipes up the blood,
    And now he’s mad.
    “You ruin everything,
    You little punk.
    You’re just like your mother,
    That little c*nt.
    Your just fricken like her,
    You have no clue.
    Both of you little b*tches,
    Make me want to puke.”
    He removes his hand,
    Then his fist comes down hard.
    It connect with your nose,
    Leaving your face scarred.
    More blood pours out,
    And you feel your limbs go weak.
    But you hold on to your life,
    And clear your throat to speak.
    “Daddy, oh daddy,
    What did I ever do to you?
    And what about Sister?
    What did she do?
    We don’t deserve this,
    No matter what you say.
    Killing her,
    Didn’t make your problems go away.
    It just made things worse,
    And now look at you.
    Your killing rate soon,
    Will be up to 2.
    Just put your hand down daddy,
    And I know what we’ll do.
    We’ll clean this mess up daddy,
    Because I still love you.
    Even after every hit,
    You’ve ever given me.
    I still love you,
    Very much Daddy.
    So let’s clean up this mess,
    And clean up your act.
    Because frankly I'm fed up.
    With getting smacked.
    Sister had spoken out,
    But she was right.
    Now let right now,
    Be the last night.
    No more drinking,
    And no more swears.
    Let’s become a family again,
    One that’s loving and cares.”
    Daddy laughs,
    And shakes his head.
    “Your sister is gone little one,
    She’s beyond dead.
    Your believing a dream,
    Which will never come true.
    It’s your time now baby,
    To get what’s coming to you.”
    And me and you,
    Were reunited that night.
    And I’ll hold you forever,
    In this endless light.
    Daddy can’t hurt you,
    And in a few years past.
    Maybe mommy,
    Will join us at last.

  20. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 3:32pm UTC
    && I wonder...
    i wonder if you ever stay away, thinking about me.
    I wonder if you ever dream about me.
    I wonder if you ever hear a song and think of me.
    I wonder if you ever catch yourself smiling because of me.
    I wonder if you ever think about the good memories with me.
    I wonder if you ever miss me.
    I wonder if you ever regret what you did to me.
    I wonder if you ever fight the urge to text me.
    I wonder if you ever wonder what could've happened with me.
    I wonder if you realize how much you love me.
    I wonder if you ever see me && think,
    "Damn, why'd I let her go?"

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles