I have had a problem for a long time.
This is a long story,which is one that I hope you may read.
When I was seven, my dad told me that he was dating a new woman. He told me that she had an older son and a daughter my age.
The daughter however, was bigger and slightly older, and an A class bully. So was the brother. And the Mum.
They all acted sweet around my dad. He didn't see what happened when we were alone.
He didnt see that they tormented me and my younger sisters.
He never heard the comments about my weight, apparent behaviour problems and skin.
In my own home, they made me clean up after them. They made up lies about me to my dad. They made up a lie that I was a bully to the daughter. They talked about me as though I were vermin, that I was a problematic child.
I was punished.
One day at a resort, I was playing in the pool. I was ten.
The brother and sister were there. They threw the hard wahoo ball at my head. The sister came up behind me to throw the ball back to him to try again.
I had to stay under the water for as long as I could. Then I brought up the courage to tell them to stop. They didnt. I yelled louder. They still didnt. I finally plucked up the strength to tell dad. He told me to ignore it. I then practically yelled at them to stop it.
The step mother, seeing everything happen, came over to me and told me to shut up.
Since then, nothing was the same.
I cried non-stop at least once a week. I became a weak and vulnerable girl.
Until one day, they broke up for the first time. I was ecstatic. I had finally told dad everything they had been doing to me.
He hugged me tight and told me that he would never let that happen to me ever again.
That was the best day of my life.
Until they got back together and it got worse. But this time, he SAW EVERYTHING. But he didnt do anything about it.
They even insulted my skin colour at the dinner table.
He did nothing. She didnt want me or my sisters in their 'family' wedding photo. He did nothing.
Until one day he broke up with her for good. Why?
Because she wouldnt move out of her house.
Since the age of eleven, I have truly disliked my father.
From then on, he hasnt said sorry. He hasnt tried to make it better. In our spare time, he makes us clean up the house for his new girlfriend, who doesnt do anything. He barely does anything with us.
A few weeks ago, it became too much. I wanted to tell him why I was depressed, and why my behavioural patterns were strange.
I told him about the best day of my life when he gave me the biggest hug. And why I was always depressed. I felt sick at the core, and I knew that it was one of the biggest steps of my life. I had waited eight years to tell him this.
He told me to grow up. He told me that I was stupid.
I need your help.
I have already talked to two professionals and close friends.
I am going to write a final letter to him about the impacts of my childhood on me, and how he was never there. How I feel everyday when I wake up in the morning. How I act as a person, and how I try not to cry everytime I think about it.
I need to know that there are others out there that support me. Whether it is clicking a button, or even commenting to prove that I am not alone. I really couldn't care about the number. To me it doesnt mean a thing. Even if it was just one person, it would mean the world to me.
Thank you Wattpad for being there for me.
MissMonCherie