MasonHoward's Quotes

MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 4:52pm UTC

That awkward moment when you're so into a song...
Friend: Would you have s£x with your grandmother?
Me: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Friend: O_O... *slowly backs away*
Me: what?

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 4:16pm UTC

That awkward moment when a relative calls and you don't know who he/she is...
Me: Hello?
Relative: Hey son.
Me: Dad?
Relative: no it's not your dad, but can i talk to him?
Me: He's working.
Relative: And your mum?
Me: Gone shopping.
Relative: Ok I'll just call later
Me: Ok bye..
Relative: Bye!
Who the heck was he?
nmq.

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 12:29pm UTC

I DIDN'T HIT YOU?!?! I SIMPLY HIGH FIVED YOUR FACE.

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 10:36am UTC

A lot of kids toys are guns and guns and guns.
What the heck are they teaching children?
Maybe when World War 3 comes kids will be ready...

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 8:30am UTC

I love my bed, we are the perfect two.
But my alarm clock doesn't want us together...
That jealous wh0re..

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 8:15am UTC

A very very sad short story...
Boy: Can I have a sandwich?
Girl: No.
WAAAAAAAA SO SAD OMG D;

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 7:52am UTC

*When my mum said she was pregnant*
Mum: You're gonna have a baby sis!
Brother: Yay! now i can have a girlfriend! :D
Me: LOL
Mum: No... I said sister.
My Bro: Yes I know.. She can be my wife when she is older :)
Me: LOLOL
Mum: You can't marry your own sister?
Brother: Fine I'll just have children with her :/
Me: LOLOLOL
A very true story.

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 2, 2012 9:56am UTC

Conversations with mum:
Me: Yepp.. Yeah.. Mhmm. Ok.. I'll do it.. Yes.... Alright... Ok... Yepp... Yeah...
and so on

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 2, 2012 1:05am UTC

That moment when your ex says "You won't find anyone like me!" And you're like .... "I sure hope so!"

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 2, 2012 12:24am UTC

That moment when you touch a spiders web and turn into a freakin ninja...

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 2, 2012 12:06am UTC

What do you call your girlfriend when she's angry?
An angry bird.. Ahaaha..

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 10:05pm UTC

when I was young I always thought s£x ment kissing someone while naked so one day I kissed my cat and I forgot I just came out of the shower with no clothes I ran dowstairs and cried to my mum and said " I had s£x with the cat"
you should have seen mums face...

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 5:33pm UTC

If I could travel back in time... I would prevent the worlds greatest evil... By going to where Mr and Mrs. Beiber lives and kindly tell them to wear a condom:)
What would you do if you could travel back in time?:O

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 4:54pm UTC

That AMAZING moment when you find out that ipod! is written the same when you look at it upside down!

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 4:40pm UTC

Win a free ride in a police car just by shoplifting from this store!
Lucky winners can also get their name in the newspaper for family and friends to see!
MAKE YOUR MUM AND DAD PROUD!

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 4:13pm UTC

Teacher: Wheres your homework?
Kid: Written in the stars.
Teacher: Oh, where's that?
Kid: A million miles away.
Teacher: What was it about?
Kid: A message to the main.
Teacher: You are testing me...
Kid: Seasons come and go but I will never change.
Teacher: Go to the principal's office, now!
Kid: I'm on my waaaaaaay

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 4:01pm UTC

Admit it.... You have all pushed a door that said *PULL*

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 3:54pm UTC

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 3:35pm UTC

Me when watching a horror movie with friends:
Friends: This ain't even scary.. it's sooo unrealistic
Me: I know right.
Me when watching a horror movie alone:
Me: OMG IT'S NOT REAL IT'S NOT REAL!!! O_O

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MasonHoward
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 3:16pm UTC

How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"

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Witty Profiles

MasonHoward