MaryPenguin's Quotes

MaryPenguin
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 8:11pm UTC

A computer is only as good as its wifi.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 9:27pm UTC

All the water
In the WORLD
Could not sink the smallest ship.
►Unless it got inside.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
June 22, 2013 2:33am UTC

I live in My own little world,
But it's OK.
They know me here. <3

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 2:10pm UTC

When ever I see the word "dishonest," I don't say it like a normal person.
I say Dish-onest.
With Dish.
This is why I have no friends.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 1:07am UTC

Girls always say that they want big boo.bs
But I don't really get it because the bigger they are, the more they are gonna hurt when they smack you in the face when you're running

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
June 11, 2013 8:11pm UTC

I'm surprised I'm not surrounded by paparazzi by now.
I mean, I've been alive for, what, nearly 14 years now?
Seriously.
come on.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
June 1, 2013 6:13pm UTC

Some kids are dropped as a baby.
You, on the other hand,
Were thrown in the air, smacked by
a ceiling fan,
And tossed out the window.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
May 19, 2013 5:59pm UTC

Miss your Ex?
Reload and fire again. ;)

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 9:28pm UTC

DANNNGGGG GURLLL
Does Smokey the Bear know you're here?
cos you so hot you be startin' wild fires.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
May 12, 2013 10:03pm UTC

The best thing about my relationship with my mom is that we don't even have to say out loud that I'm her favorite child.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
May 12, 2013 12:58am UTC

"This statement is false."
People think little of this statement. It's actually a paradox. Allow me to explain; If it was telling the truth, and it was actually false, then it would would be TRUE, which would counteract it being false.Now say it was false. Then it would be telling the truth, and, yet again, would be counteracting itself. It CAN'T be FALSE, and it CAN'T be TRUE.
Mind blown?
Or just confuzzled?

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 8:44pm UTC

Someone called my Mom "old" today.
They made her fall off her dinosaur.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 2:00am UTC

A horse walks into a bar.
The Bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
He replies, "My wife has terminal Cancer."

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 12:38am UTC

Yeah, Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Hey, I was just kidding..
I hope you fall down the stairs too.

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
April 23, 2013 11:38pm UTC

WHAT IF
The universe is a giant snow globe and all the galaxies and stars are the little specks floating around? o.O
What if someone shook us.. what would happen then?

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
April 23, 2013 8:43pm UTC

Was Adele's baby planned? Or did it turn up out of the blue, uninvited?
nmq

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 7:50pm UTC

I think I have more Disney songs on my ipod than actual music..

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 9:17pm UTC

ParaNorman is just Call Me Maybe THE MOVIE...

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 5:42pm UTC

Mom: (driving) is that guy going to leave his blinker on all day?
Sister: What? I didn't even realize it was on.
Mom: that's because it was very dim. Just like the driver.
-APPLY COLD WATER TO BURN-

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MaryPenguin
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 8:53pm UTC

Police: FREEZE!
Criminal: Everybody clap your hands!!

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Witty Profiles

MaryPenguin