Witty Profiles

LordVoldemort

1. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 3, 2011 10:16am UTC
   I believe everything has its place. Muggles have their place, Mudbloods have theirs and so do your dirty clothes... Namely a dresser.
   - Lord Voldemort
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points
2. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 3, 2011 10:11am UTC
   Favorite this
   if you actually know what Pigfarts is.
   (The people who don't are most likely Muggles. *sigh*)
   - Lord Voldemort
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 38 points
3. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 3, 2011 10:07am UTC
   "Severus Snape is one of the kindest, bravest, gentlest, sexiest men I have ever met."
   That has to be the only wise thing Albus Dumbledore has ever said.
   - Lord Voldemort
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points
4. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 3, 2011 10:03am UTC
   I'M AS HAPPY AS A SQUIRREL
   ...As long as I'm with Mr Quirrell
   ~ Me in A Very Potter Musical. You know you love it.
   - Lord Voldemort
   
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5. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 2, 2011 10:04am UTC
   click to see this quote
   
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6. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 1, 2011 1:35pm UTC
   According to Bellatrix Lestrange...
   I was always too sexy for my nose.
   That made me feel better.
   - Lord Voldemort
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 41 points
7. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 1, 2011 1:28pm UTC
   After I killed a stupid Muggle girl today, a random Muggle boy looked at her dead body and yelled,
   "YOU GOT KEDAVRA'D!"
   I hate children, and I don't even know that boy, but I now want to adopt him.
   Would I make a good dad?
   - Lord Voldemort
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 36 points
8. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 1, 2011 1:08pm UTC
   If you are what you eat, then I am a unicorn.
   - Lord Voldemort
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 101 points
9. LordVoldemort
   posted a quote
   July 1, 2011 1:00pm UTC
   How Many Ministers Of Magic Does It Take To Light Up A Wand?
   One, but he has to ask Dumbledore for advice first.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 31 points
10. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 12:48pm UTC
    How Many Divination Teachers Does It Take To Light Up A Wand?
    None; her Inner Eye has just informed her that it will be bright and sunny all day, and who is she to refuse the promptings of fate?
    
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11. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 12:33pm UTC
    click to see this quote
    
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12. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 12:29pm UTC
    ☝ I solemnly swear that I will not bring a Magic Eight ball to Divination class.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 26 points
13. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 12:25pm UTC
    ☝ I solemnly swear that I will not suggest the name 'Springtime for Voldemort' for the class play.
    
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14. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 12:14pm UTC
    ☝ I solemnly swear that I will not use house elves as replacements for Bludgers.
    
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15. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 12:10pm UTC
    ☝ I solemnly swear that if a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that by drawing a Dark Mark on his/her arm.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 33 points
16. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 12:06pm UTC
    ☝ I solemnly swear that I will not refer to taking a shower as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 30 points
17. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 11:59am UTC
    ☝ I solemnly swear that I will not grow marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms in my Herbology project, as it does not give me better marks.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points
18. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 11:53am UTC
    ☝ I solemnly swear that I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class, no matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 28 points
19. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 11:49am UTC
    ☝ I solemnly swear that I will not insist that Hufflepuff's House colours indicate that they are covered in bees.
    Shall I make a series of these?
    - Lord Voldemort
    
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20. LordVoldemort
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2011 11:44am UTC
    How Many Dark Lords Does It Take To Light Up A Wand?
    Two: One to light it and another to kill him and take the credit.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 35 points

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