I Cut Myself.
And One Person Knows It. he is like my brother... and he got upset once too. and cut. we promised each other we wouldnt do it again. but i have. and scars line my thighs now. and my arms, and its hideous. but nobody knows what they are from. and i dont know how to tell someone. i take tacs, and i burn them with a lighter. then, i press the burnt metal into my leg to ease the temporary mental pain. but it doesnt help, only for a second, and it leaves me with seared flesh and ugly scars. i feel lost...
I Take Happy Pills.
Me And My Mom Have Depression. Im scared to stop taking them... scared that ill fuckk up something when im off, that i still wont be happy. but i know i can't truly be happy when im taking a pill for it. pills cant make you happy, even if thats what they are made for. but i dont know what im going to do about it, or if there is anything i can do at all. and the worst part is, they dont even help me because i still feel the pain.
I Hate My Bestfriends.
Of Course, I Wouldn't Tell Them That. But at the same time, im swaying towards my other friends, the ones who can help me. because my current bestfriends, they don't know. they don't understand. and they can't help me. my other friends... they are the bets people i know. i guess you could call them goody-goodies. but they might be able to show me a better way. but then all my other friend will hate me for leaving them. what to do, what to do?
I'm An Alcoholic.
I Cannot Function Without Alcohol. at least a sip of it. I need it. i know i dont, i know it is practically killing me, but i dont feel right without it. my family is alcoholics, and they suck. they have it bad. they are messed up. i dont want to be like that. but im turning into it too, and i know it. but i dont know how to stop. and i just needed to tell somebody this.
I Miss My Brother.
My Big Bro Is A Marine. Currently, he's in rehab. for almost a year now. and its for drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. He is only 18. He got me into drinking when i was 9 years old. im 13, and just stopped. for a little bit. i hope i stopped for good, but every person in my family is an alcoholic besides my mom and sister, the people i live with. and i miss my brother sooo much, but if i talk about it with my friends, they dont get it and tell me to suck it up and get over it, its not a big deal. But honestly, they dont know. they couldnt picture their life without their oldest sibling missing for a year, and not knowing if he will ever come home at all. not knowing if he misses you, not knowing if hes getting better, not knowing if you will ever get to hug him again or tell him you love him before he dies. because i dont know.
And the Worst Part Is, I Can't Talk About This To Anyone. I Hope If You Ever Have A Problem, You Get Help Right Away. Thanks For Reading This, If You Did, I Know You Care. <3 It Means A Lot.
& Don't You Ever Forget;
The Longer You Wait, The Harder It Is To Get Help.
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