When Insults Had Class
These glorious insults are from an era before
the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill &Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poisoned tea."
He answered, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Prime Minister Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
Comedian Kip Adota
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
John Bright
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Forrest Tucker
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx
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