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Artist003

yourcool
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 5:57pm UTC

the person who invented marriage was creepy:
"hey, i love you so much, i'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1125 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 3, 2013 7:55pm UTC

I'M PERFECTLY FINE
w i t h h a v i n g o t h e r p e o p l e s i t o n m y l a p
b u t i c a n ’ t s i t o n o t h e r p e o p l e ’ s l a p s
b e c a u s e i ’ m a l w a y s p a r a n o i d t h a t
i ’ d c r u s h t h e m a n d t h e y ’ d d i E
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 1, 2013 2:04pm UTC

Did you know that by
spelling the english word
SOCKS outloud, you are
also saying the spanish phrase Eso si que es,
which means:
“it is what is is”.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 580 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
September 26, 2012 4:30pm UTC

One day
you’ll meet a guy.
And ultimately, he’s going to find out.
How you chew, how you sip,
how you dance, how you smell at every point in the day.
How your face looks underneath all your makeup.
How you love chocolate, how you can be hyper at times,
how certain games and shows make you really happy.
How cranky you can get when you’re tired,
how you think you look bad in all your photos.
He’s going to know everything about you.
And you know what?
He’s still going to love you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1237 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
September 29, 2012 4:49pm UTC

You found him.
He makes you smile till your cheeks hurt.
When you look at him, you feel warm inside
even if it’s snowing.
His voice is honestly like music to your ears,
it’s soothing and comforting.
When he touches you, you get goosebumps.
His texts and calls is what makes you able to sleep at night.
Him just being there makes you feel like you have no worries.
He’s the best thing that has ever come into you life
and you love every second of it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 773 points

urbanDECAY
posted a quote
September 13, 2011 6:08pm UTC

It's sorta like
I gave you the key to my heart & you lost it, ii kept making you copies cause i wanted to let you in.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

thelongestusernameonwittyprofilespossiblyunlesssomeonesislongerisanyoneslongeridontthinksohahathatwouldbeprettyhardbecausethisoneisprettydarnlong
posted a quote
September 11, 2012 9:14pm UTC

he offered her the world
she said "i have my own"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

basketballchickkforeveer1
posted a quote
September 4, 2012 10:44pm UTC

I want one of those cute relationships . The ones where we hold hands and walk around in public . Where we dont go out on dates , but stay home and watch a movie , order pizza , and cuddle . Where I can be myself , and tell you everything . Where everyone would be all jealous of our relationship . Where we would get in fights but you'd grab me and kiss me . Where my family would love you . Where we knew all of each others secrets . We could trust each other . and no one would come in between our relationship . i want that so bad. i want it with you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points

Chloe149
posted a quote
August 13, 2012 8:26am UTC

Me: * Sees a spider *
Me: * Tries to squish it with a pillow.*
Dad: That poor spider.
Me: What?
Dad: He probably had a family.
Me: Don't try and make me feel guilty.
Dad: He was so young.
Me: It's not going to work.
Dad: You murderer..
Me: No, I'm not!
Dad: You took a life.
Me: But it's a spider!!!
Dad: An innocent spider.
Me: But...
Dad: Apologies to his children.
Me: I'm not listening.
Dad: He might even have grandchildren.
Me: What?!
Dad: Their dad won't be coming home tonight.
Me: How do you even know it's gender.
Dad: I thought I raised you better...
Me: OKAY, OKAY. I'M REALLY SORRY MR.SPIDER. I WON'T HURT YOU ANYMORE>
* Spider gets up and walks away.
Dad:
Me:
Spider:
Dad:
Me:
Dad:
Me: HE.WASN'T.EVEN.DEAD o_e

👍 this is good · read the comments · 211 points

TheGirlWhoLived
posted a quote
August 13, 2012 12:25pm UTC

after a long, hard day,
Kanye West finally lays down to take his Kanye Rest
in his Kanye Nest
and wakes up feeling his Kanye Best
and then gets dressed in his Kanye Vest
to go on a Kanye Quest
nmq&nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 336 points

courtneyisawesome14
posted a quote
July 30, 2012 5:25pm UTC

Today
My 3 year old cousin wanted to color
so she grabbed the white crayon and started coloring on the white paper
then she looked at the crayon and said
"I guess its out of ink"
♥

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TheGirlWhoLived
posted a quote
August 2, 2012 1:24pm UTC

Clint
Of course us gays dress well. We didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.
24 hours ago · comment · like
402 people likes this
nmq&nmf

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lizardlizzie98
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 3:25pm UTC

because in case you haven't noticed, people come in all shapes and sizes and they're beautiful.
Put THAT in your magazine.
-Raven
(That's so Raven)
back when Disney shows had really deep messages.
format : Socially_Awkward_Penguin

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1376 points

AustinH
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 10:24pm UTC

"Be strong,"
I whispered to my wifi signal.

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littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 6:53pm UTC

Dad: why are your eyes red?
Me: i smoke marajuana, dad
Dad: don't lie to me, you were crying because you have no friends

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1340 points

xHello
posted a quote
July 15, 2012 12:39pm UTC

Parents: I'm in a bad mood, I think i'll go yell at my kids so they're in a bad mood too

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
July 28, 2012 2:23am UTC

So I saw this on YouTube on a Justin Bieber song:
I don't usually listen to JB but this song is really good!
JBsGurl4ever 4 hours ago
Are you sure, JBsGurl4ever?
JBsGurl4ever
JBSGurl4ever.
are you sure you don't usually listen to him?
are you sure?

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Checkmate
posted a quote
August 5, 2012 1:10pm UTC

When my brother's in the shower...
-waiting for brother to get out of the shower-
-hears him singing-
me: will you quit singing?
brother: what?
me: QUIT SINGING. IT'S LAME
brother: WOMAN
brother: WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS GET TO BE FREE
brother: MY BALLS
brother: AND MY SOUL

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chimneythewerebear
posted a quote
July 22, 2012 3:28pm UTC

a conversation with my 20 year old brother
Julain: don't you dare get 16 and pregnant
Me: okay, i wasn't planni-
Julian: cause a pregant sister would be awkward
Me: ye-
Julian: then i'll be like 'who's the father? i'm going to break his knees.'
Julian: then you'll be like 'nooo, i love him'
Me:
Julian:
Me:
Julian:
Me:
Julian:
Me:
Julian:
Me: *awkwardly walks out of the room*
nmf

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jimmy365
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 4:41pm UTC

My name is..
Junie B. Jones. The "B" stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice.
I just like "B", and that's all.
☝
T h i s = m y c h i l d h o o d .

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1375 points

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