Anthropophobia's Favorites

broetry
posted a quote
September 8, 2013 6:03pm UTC

Hello.
My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father.
Prepare to die.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 14 points

savannah*
posted a quote
September 8, 2013 6:33pm UTC

what if
he's thinking of you, too?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 106 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 7:31pm UTC

How roll call will go in the future:
Teacher: Welcome to class students! Please say 'here' when I call your name.
Teacher: Albus
Albus: Here!
Teacher: Doctor
Doctor: Oh, yes, um, hello. I can't talk at the moment, time's gone wibbly. Probably leave a message at the tone or something.
Teacher: Um... okay? Hermione
Hermione: Yes, I'm here! And when's our first test? I've been studying all Summer and-
Red-headed boy in class: Oh my god, Hermione, shut up!
Teacher: And you must be Ron! Okay then, Primrose
Primrose: Here
Random girl in back of class: I VOLUNTEER!!!
Teacher: And I see Katniss has made it today as well, welcome.
Blonde boy: Katniss is here?! Yes! Her Katniss, try this bread I baked this morning!
Brunette boy: Oh, you'd better keep your hands off her! She's my best friend! We go hunting together!
Teacher: Peeta! Gale! Stop fighting over Katniss and sit down.
Teacher: Rory
Doctor: Oh, Rory died yesterday, ma'am. But he should be back again tomorrow.
Teacher: Oh...kay? And lastly, Draco.
Draco: I'm LAST?! My father will hear about this!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 459 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 13, 2013 3:32pm UTC

Whoever snuck the "s" in "fast
food" was a clever little bas/tard.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 132 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 13, 2013 3:56pm UTC

I'm single by choice. Not my
choice, but still a choice.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 199 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 14, 2013 4:00pm UTC

There once was a noisy bird.
The bird twittered all the time. One day, he stepped on a scale to see that he weighed an instagram. He shouted "Yahoo!" and then another bird came over. "Get out of my space!" the first bird said. He pushed the second bird down a hill where he landed on his face before reading a book.
The moral of the story is to not interrupt a bird when it's weighing itself.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 80 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 14, 2013 7:13pm UTC

I'm just going to start carrying
around a voice recorder so that when someone makes a promise, I can record it and play it back to them later when they forget about it like people do in TV shows.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 192 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 5:09pm UTC

Unless you physically see me
opening a tampon, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the backyard.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 431 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 5:14pm UTC

There is no logical reason for
shorts to be the same price as pants.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 147 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 5:19pm UTC

The real problem with reality
is that there's no background music.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 112 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 5:29pm UTC

Imagine if trees gave off
wifi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet, too.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 227 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 16, 2013 7:23pm UTC

Kiss me if I'm wrong but
dinosaurs still exist, right?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 114 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 16, 2013 7:38pm UTC

Tell someone, "you wore that
shirt the day after yesterday" and see how long it takes them to get it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 211 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:20pm UTC

Nemo actually appeared in
Monster's Inc as one of Boo's toys 2 years before "Finding Nemo" was released.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 104 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:27pm UTC

Watching a movie and yelling
at the characters for doing something stupid.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 131 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:32pm UTC

Teacher: "Why can I hear
you talking?"
Student: "Because you have ears."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 62 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:41pm UTC

So, you can pay 6 million
dollars on a commercial for starving kids, but you can't feed them?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 88 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:52pm UTC

In 1000 years, archeologists
will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 339 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 5:27pm UTC

Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
Me: Gravity, mom.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 398 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 6:01pm UTC

In first grade, there was this
boy who spent the year literally believing he had 2 right hands because when he was learning his 'right' and 'left', his mom would say 'right' when he was correct.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 101 points

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