sometimes i like to write my own suicide notes. not that'd i'd ever have the courage to actually go through with it, but i just like to write them and think about how it would play out.
I think about how i would do it, who would find me, what everyones reactions would be, what the announcement at school would sound like, what people who bullied me would think, what people who were mad at me would think, what my friends would think, if strangers would cry when they heard about it, if kids i barely knew at school would feel sorry, who would come to my funeral, the clothes i woulf be buried in, the music they'd play at my funeral, what my coaches would think, what my teammates would think, how my family would deal with it, what they would do with my stuff and my room, who would care. 
I don't know... maybe that's weird, creepy even. But i just like the thought of people missing me, feeling bad for what they've done to me, feeling bad for not helping me. I guess I'm weird. But hey, i know that.