I'm not even about to put this in a format cause this is really just a vent.

I miss you. So much. And if I was being honest with myself, the only true reason i'm staying up this late is so IF you reply at your normal time of 3 a.m., i want to be able to talk to you. I want to tell you about how much I miss you, which is so much it physically hurts. Do you remember when we met? How the very first thing I said to you was "I love you" and then you said to me "you're so beautiful." remember, you wanted to commit suicide that night. i wanted to die. You saved me. I was falling so deep into depression, and YOU took me out. you kept me out of that darkness, you showed me the light. We talked all the time, and I started falling for you, and falling hard. I remember all the times you made me smile. Remember that time you said you didn't like country music but i did? and you said "would it make you happy if i listened to it?" and i argued with you, because i didn't want you to do anything that made you unhappy, and you said "seeing you happy will always make me happy." I remember. do you remember how we started going out? I do. I was having a mental breakdown. I couldn't do it anymore. & i wanted to be alone. & you said "No Sam, I'm not going to let you push me away!" and i said "why not?!" and you said "Do you think I'm going to let the girl I'm in love with walk away from me, just like that, without a fight? you thought wrong!" and then you asked me to be your girlfriend. Then we had all of our songs. and music that always made us think of each other. but you were busy alot because of working 3 jobs. you still always treated me like a f/cking princess, like i was your world. and the drama with "mads", you proved how much i meant to you. I remember when you went to visit your family out of state, and you passed the phone around so i could talk to each of them for five minutes until i got to meet them in person. 

I've never felt so immportant, so worthy, so loved by anyone else. I've never loved any one like i love you. But I f/cked up. and I lost the most important person in my life.
I still miss you, every day.

Remember our last conversation?
"I'm trying to find a piece of the girl i fell in love with somewhere in there, but you've changed too much. She's gone."